Tales from the Bookstore

The Holidays

Before I start, I have to say that we've really had some really nice, sweet people come into the bookstore this season. They've been great...but they are not really that much fun to read about.
So, without further ado, a few stories from the world of retail bookselling.

Sitting on our cashwrap, we have a small display of these American Girl trading cards. A gentleman came up and was paying for his purchases when he gave the cards a skeptical look. Then he fingered a few, went back to writing his check...then looked at them again. He turned to us (myself and M.) and asked:
"Are these real?"

A boy walks into the store, looks around, and proclaims: "Wow! There are a lot of books in here."

That's why they call it a bookstore...

The following stories told to me by bookseller H.

A really strange, googly eyed fellow comes into the bookstore.

Weird Guy: Can I climb on your ladders and get down some of your books?

H.: No sir. If you need any books, just ask one of us and we'll be glad to get them for you.

Weird Guy: Why can't I climb the ladders?

H.: Because its possible for you to fall off. They can be dangerous.

Weird Guy: If...If I f..fell off...would I get compensated?

H.: Ummm...

Weird Guy: Can I climb your ladders?



A lady came in looking for the Da Vinci Code in paperback. H. told her it was not out yet. The lady shoots H. a glare...I guess in her mind, it was all H.'s fault that the Da Vinci Code was not out in paperback.

Lady: Well why not!

H.: Because it is selling so well in hardcopy they want to make as much money as possible. And with the movie coming out they want to milk it for as much as it's worth

Lady: *shoots H. another glare* The movie is already out. I have the movie and I wanted to get a copy of the book before I watched it. And I've seen the book in paperback!

Just to clarify...as I'm sure most of you already know, the movie is *not* out. And the Da Vinci Code is *not* out in paperback. Trust us on this one.

At this point H. gives up. There really is nothing he can do that won't get him another killer glare from the lady, and you can't tell a customer that they're a dumbass. So H. tells her we do not have it in stock, she shoots him another glare and leaves.


About a half an hour after closing, the telephone rings. H. answers it.

H.: Thank you for calling, this is H. How may I help you?

Man on the other line: HELLO??

H. This is *bookstore*, H. speaking. How may I help you?

Man: HELLO?

H. Umm...

Man: WHAT IS THIS PLACE??

About 10:30 the following morning, the phone rings and H. answers it.

H. Thank you for calling this is H. How may I help you?

On the other line: HELLO?

Poor H. He always manages to end up with these customers.

Happy Holidays everyone!