Straight No Chaser

Zen and the Art of Avoidance

on an unrelated note, my resolution is never to write another dramatic cliffhanger entry, ever again.

no, actually, i doubt i'll formalize any resolutions this year. not because i think i'm above (or below) the possibility of improvement, but because i don't remember any of last year's resolutions, which strongly suggests that none were upheld. and anyway, besides the one aaron already said, none of my goals for this year are one-shot, quantifiable things. every change i'll be making in 2006 will be gradual and continual. i don't intend to knock my heroin habit or learn to pop a triple axle or quit sleeping with married men, though any of those would be easy to measure and satisfying to achieve. i mean, i'll shoot for a 4.0 again, but who doesn't, in theory, and i want to ace the lsat. that's about it, with the numbers.

i am tremendously tired; my day has been a whirlwind of communion wafers and apricot salads and now i just want to call marcus and go to bed.

the across-the-street neighbors are still shooting off fireworks, as they have been since before the ball dropped last night, and as pretty as it was at first, like big orange stars bursting all around our victorian cul-de-sac, at this point i'm about ready for them to go fuck themselves.

the first time i wrote this entry, about six hours ago, just before the computer froze and callously purged my eight tidy paragraphs, i had a lot of things to say about new year's celebrations, our condescending new pastor and the dream i had last night. slightly less to say about why i'm a little pissed at marcus. a couple sentence fragments about the coming year. a shameless plea for aaron not to leave us forever. all the truths i would have truthed still stand, and i still hope she doesn't. but my energy is zapped, and marcus needs to sleep before midnight. and so.

(i'd been wondering what my first entry of the year might be like, and now i know, and i can't say i'm surprised at how totally pointless it is. oh well. it's just about time for the butterfly.)

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