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Everybody's a Comedian

I work at a pizza place. Not a restaurant, mind you, or a diner. Just a place.

After waitressing for a few short months, I couldn't help but notice that sometimes, people don't think about what they're saying. And most of the time, these "mishaps" are pretty funny.

So, I've decided to dedicate one entry (or more, if this gets to be too long) entirely to those slips of the tongue that come from the everyday comedians of the world.

So here goes. Enjoy!

You Asked Me WHAT!?
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"Is the small the smallest pizza you guys have, or is there something smaller?"
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"I'd like the Pepperoni Lover's pizza, but could you hold the pepperoni?"
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"I'll take the Vegetarian sandwich on sourdough, but can you add smoked turkey to that?"
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SOME DUDE ON PHONE: "How big are your medium pizzas?"

ME: "12 inches."

SOME DUDE ON PHONE: "Yeah, that sounds about right... Wait- how many slices is that?"
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"I'd like to order a small, one-topping pizza with two toppings..."
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SOME DUDE ON PHONE: "Can I get a pizza delivered?"

ME: "Sure. What's the address?"

SOME DUDE ON PHONE: "##### W. Buchanan, apartment 5."

ME: "Okay, we'll have the pizza there in a half an hour."

SOME DUDE ON PHONE: "You mean I gotta go home to pick it up?"

ME: "I beg your pardon?"

SOME DUDE ON PHONE: "Well I'm at the bar right now."
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PERSON ON PHONE: "I'd like to place an order for Carry-Out."

ME: "Okay, sir, what can I get for you?"

PERSON ON PHONE: "I'm a ma'am."
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WOMAN IN BOOTH: "What's your bleu cheese dressing look like?"

ME: "I don't know. It comes in a packet."

WOMAN IN BOOTH. "Oh. What's the packet look like?"
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PERSON IN BOOTH: "Oh, and I'd like a small salad before the meal."

ME: "Okay. What kind of dressing do you want?"

PERSON IN BOOTH: "It comes with dressing?"