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Musical Chairs

I've got a confession to make. I'm probably the only waitress that has ever admitted to this, but I simply cannot hide it any longer. I might as well just come right out and say it.

I'm addicted to seating customers.

I absolutely love it when the diner gets crowded, and hoardes of hungry people line up near the counter, waiting for a booth to clear. And, when a vacant table finally becomes available, I can hardly hide my excitement as I rush to greet the next waiting party.

"Through the power invested in me by the chain-smoking bastard that runs this place," I usually say, "I now present you with..."

*suspenseful pause*

"...a BOOTH! Yes, that's right. Your time has come. The gates of fine dining have opened, and I have chosen you, and only you, to accompany me through this portal. Fear not, for you shall stand no more! Please, by all means, sit down, and enjoy the piss-poor lumbar support offered to you by these, our sparsely padded seats."

Mmmmmm... seating people.
I tell you, it's like playing God...