Life as I see it.

Boy or girl.....it doesn't matter......

Yesterday I had a horrible arguement with my mom. I ended up crying uncontrollably. She kept telling me, that I didn't care about the family, or about her, and that I didn't love her at all. That really hurt me a lot. She told me that I only care about my friends. Which is not true, because everytime my friends ask me to go out and do something with them, I tell them that I can't because I have to work and spend time with my mom. Somehow she doesn't see that! I never go out with my friends anymore, everything that I do is usually for school. I don't go out and just have fun. She telling me that I don't care about, truley hurt me, because If I didn't care about her, I wouldn't get up 3 o'clock on Sunday morning and accompany her at work, I would've ran away years ago, or I would've killed myself when I was sucidal. She blames me, because she works 24/7!!! She is the one that puts herself to that, and doesn't take anydays off. It's not my fault. She tells me to put my education first, and I am, but she yells at me and tells me that I don't care about her!!! Sometimes, I just don't know what to do anymore! Sometimes I just want to give up and end everything! I'm not sucidal anymore, but when my mom and I have those argurements, and blames her life on me for the way that it is, those thoughs skip through my mind. Yesterday it was just so bad, I had to talk to someone. I wish I could've taken it out on paper, but my diary got read by my stepdad, and he tried to use it to get me into trouble. Now, I feel as if I can't trust it anymore, and that the only thing that I really had to relieve myself is taken away from me, even though it isn't. But I called 4 of my friends, 3 didn't answer, and my best friend Armando answered. I just started crying all over again when he picked up the phone. He clamed me down, so that I can tell him what happened, and how feel. He is the best! A very smart person! I just love him to death. I never have came to him like this, because I didn't really want to come to him when I'm like this. But this time I really had no choice and I really had to just talk to someone. He talked to me, and gave me phenomanol advice, and told me that if anything ever happened to me, he would be cry, and wouldn't accept the idea that I'm gone. He really just made me feel a lot better, and made me laugh! He understood what I was going throught, and didn't shoot me down, he just listened to me, and helped me. I'm so glad that I am blessed with good friends.