Genomorph

Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

Dear Mom,

I am glad we can use the email to communicate regularly now. I guess you have read my earlier diary entries that I sent. I am going to continue writing them - they are really helping me sort things out. Its just great knowing that you are getting to read them, almost like we are actually talking…almost.

I really like Melissa, and even though I’ve known her less than two days, it is already hard to imagine not having her in my life. I really think I am falling for her. Karen is great too. She reminds me a lot of you; very driven but very caring as well. Karen is working on her masters in political science, and it’s nice to be able to talk to her and not sound like a ditz. Really both of them are amazing. I mean here they were going to grad school and working two jobs. True, Melissa’s other job is as a teaching assistant, but she was putting in a nine hour day at the university and then working at the bar. Thankfully they have both been able to quit those jobs.

I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised that I am falling for another girl. After all I was a man for forty years and I’ve only been a girl for four months. I know I am programmed to be bisexual, but I’m learning that there is a difference between sexual attraction and emotional attraction, and I believe it may be even more of a distinction for me. I have to admit that I enjoyed the attention I was getting from guys as we shopped, especially once I was properly dressed. But at the same time, I knew that what I was feeling for Melissa, and my pleasure at her obvious admiration for my new look, was different. It was deeper and far more intense.

I’m still dealing with knowing that she was that little girl I pulled from the water all those years ago. Do you believe in fate? I mean, look at my life since the transformation…the people who have helped me; Arnie, Melissa, Amanda Breton and of course you. If their paths had not crossed Brandon’s where would I be now? Of course if I had not been on that mission in Iraq I would not be who I am now…or would I? I wonder.

Shopping was definitely an experience, and after I got over my initial nervousness I really started enjoying it. I even enjoyed trying on all the clothes…I guess I am a bit of an exhibitionist. Ok, more than a bit.

By the time we were through the back of Melissa’s SUV was packed. I even picked up some bathing suits, mostly one pieces but Melissa and Karen insisted that I get a couple of bikinis as well. I think it will be a while before I wear them though, they didn’t really have anything for my…dimensions…and so they are pretty skimpy. Still I guess I have seen plenty of girls wearing less here so I would not draw anymore attention then I usually do. I miss the ocean and the long swims I used to take, kind of a part of being a SEAL. It will be nice to be able to do that again.

I am so lucky that I have Melissa and Karen to help me out. At first we tried to just go by what naturally appealed to me in the way of clothes. But when I just let myself go and picked something based on my first impression, I always went for the skimpiest, sexiest stuff. If I had been on my own…well let’s just say my wardrobe would have been interesting and would certainly have drawn plenty of attention my way.

In the end, Melissa and Karen kept me in check. I have a nice selection, mostly conservative, some sexy but tasteful outfits and a few down right racy ones. Hey, a girl’s gotta cut loose sometimes.

Well I have a makeup lesson scheduled, then we are going to take a walk along the boardwalk, and you know what? I’m actually looking forward to it.

Oh one more thing, I’m afraid Amanda Breton was not entirely truthful about our meeting. She had a son, fresh out of medical school, with her at the hospital, and she was very concerned for his safety. If she had been alone, I suspect I would have had to throw her over my shoulder and carry her to the chopper. She is a good person, and a classy lady. Knowing we have her on our side makes me feel a lot better.

I’ll write again soon.

All my love,

Brandi

*****

“Are you sure you’ve never worn heels before today?” Melissa asked. They were walking along the boardwalk as the sun was starting to dip low towards the Pacific. It was just the two of them as Karen had told them she needed to work on her thesis. Melissa suspected that her friend was playing matchmaker. “You sure didn’t have trouble with those heels Karen got you.”

“Just the boots,” Brandi giggled. She had gone from the two inch heels Karen had gotten for her to a pair of white sandals with no heel for their walk. She was feeling more girlish than she had since the transformation, and she wondered if finally taking the plunge and dressing feminine had triggered something in her programming. Then again, perhaps it was just that the programming was backing off with her growing acceptance.

“It’s this body; it adapts and learns very quickly.” Brandi said. “You should have seen me the first time I got out of bed. The, ah, difference in weight distribution and the tendency of parts of me to bounce made me really awkward for a couple of days.”

“And how are you dealing with your outfit?”

Brandi looked down at her body. She was wearing a dark pink, mid length ruffled skirt and a white satin blouse with long bell sleeves. The outfit was not overly sexy, though the blouse had a v neck that revealed a good bit of cleavage, which was only emphasized by her new demi bra.

“It’s … different,” Brandi said carefully. “Wearing a skirt and stockings definitely feels strange. Not bad, just strange. And I’m still getting used to looking down and seeing my boobs so exposed. How does my makeup look?”

“You look gorgeous,” Melissa said, a bit shyly. “Your makeup is a little on the heavy side but it’s very good considering how little practice you’ve had. The question is how do you feel?”

“I feel really good,” Brandi said after a moment’s contemplation. “It’s like, I don’t know how to describe it exactly, almost a giddy feeling. I feel free, like I’m not trying to hide anymore. The biggest difference besides the skirt and stockings is not wearing a sports bra. I seem to be, um, bouncing a bit more than usual.

“Of course, there’s still this undercurrent of stark, raving terror. If I dwell on it, I can hear a voice in the back of my mind screaming, ‘What the hell are you doing!’ But there is a sense of relief too that outweighs the fear. I’ve fought this for months because I was afraid I would feel like this; I was afraid I would like it. But I think the only way I can really be at peace with who I am now is to be who I am.”

“So, what do you think about a trip to the salon this week?” Melissa suggested. “You could get your hair shortened and styled. Personally I love the way it looks but you have to be comfortable with it.”

Brandi touched her hair self consciously. Melissa had shown her how to form two braids on either side of her head in front of her ears, and then use the braids to wrap under her hair and around it, fastening the braids at the top with a pink butterfly shaped clip. The braids were long enough that they wrapped around several times, and it looked much more stylish than the simple scrunchies she had been using.

“Well, a style maybe, but getting it cut is pointless,” Brandi told her. “It would grow back out overnight. I have to admit I’ve gotten used to it now, and I do like the way it looks. Now that I know some tricks to styling it I think I’ll be fine.”

“Well, never underestimate what a day of pampering can do for you,” Melissa told her with a smile. “And you could really freak a manicurist out with those nails of yours.”

As they were walking, a young man passed by on a skateboard. He looked to be about eighteen and was very cute, and Brandi flashed him a big smile as she caught his eye. A moment after he passed there was a loud crash and a cry of surprise from behind them. Brandi and Melissa whirled around to see the young man sprawled on the ground after having run right into a trash receptacle. Brandi rushed over to where he lay, moving surprisingly fast in her heels and bouncing the whole time. Melissa just stood there laughing.

“Are you all right, honey?” Brandi asked sweetly, kneeling down beside his stunned form. “That was some header!”

“Uh yeah … yeah, I’m ok,” He stammered, his face red with embarrassment. Brandi helped him to his feet, feeling what was becoming a familiar desire spreading through her body.

“You need to be more careful, you could hurt yourself,” Brandi said seriously, wondering why Melissa was giggling beside her. “It’d be a shame to mess up such a cute face.”

“Yeah, I guess I should watch where I’m going,” He mumbled, blushing even more. “My name’s Kevin by the way.”

“I’m Brandi, and this is my friend Melissa,” Brandi told him. She clasped her hands behind her back and gave her head a shake, tossing her hair and making her breasts jiggle.

“Nice to meet you,” Kevin said, smiling as he began to recover his composure. “So you live around here Brandi? I don’t think I’ve seen you before and I’m sure I would have remembered.”

“Well, as a matter of fact….”

“Yes, we do live around here,” Melissa interrupted. “My friend just moved out here and I’m showing her the sights, which we really should get back to. Nice meeting you, Kevin, and try to watch where you’re going, ok?”

“Um, yeah, sure,” Kevin said. “Nice meeting you ladies, too. Maybe I’ll see you around Brandi.”

“Oh, I plan on being around for a while honey,” Brandi giggled. “I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for you sweetie!”

Melissa began tugging her by the arm and Brandi reluctantly followed. When they were out of earshot of Kevin, she turned to her friend and pouted.

“That was kinda rude wasn’t it?” Brandi said. “I mean, like, the poor guy was embarrassed enough as it was. It was kinda cute the way he was blushing though.”

“Earth to Brandi!” Melissa said, rapping her knuckles on the top of Brandi’s head for effect. “You are in full blown bimbo mode. Did you want me to let you just go off somewhere with him?”

Brandi thought a moment, her big violet eyes blinking and widening. It was like Melissa could see her shifting gears. “Yes, I … I did. I really did.”

“And if you had gotten alone with him some place, what would you have done?” Melissa asked gently. “Even if he is the nicest guy in the world, do you think he could have said no when you started throwing yourself at him? When you were Brandon, at that age, could you have turned down a girl like you that was begging for sex?”

“I doubt it,” Brandi admitted after another moment’s thought. They walked in silence a while before Brandi spoke again. Brandi could sense that Melissa was bordering on anger, and the reaction confused her for a moment.

“Were you, like, jealous?” she asked quietly. “I mean, like, I really didn’t mean to make you mad.”

Melissa stopped and regarded her friend for a moment, and then she sighed.

“Yes, I was a little jealous,” she admitted. “Ok, it was more than a little. I like you Brandi…more than like you. I mean I know we just met, but I feel a very strong connection to you, and it’s more than just because you saved me. And I admit, knowing what happened to you is kind of a turn on. It’s exotic, and I like exotic.

“The anger I felt…well it wasn’t so much directed at you as it was at what was done to you. The rest was at me. You told us what you got like around guys…but until I saw it there, I really didn’t understand. You switched gears so fast it was scary. I wasn’t ready for it.”

Melissa put her arm around Brandi’s shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze.

“I feel responsible for you, too. You can do so much, you are so capable in many things but you are emotionally and socially a teenage girl. I know what it’s like to feel those hormones raging, and from what I have just saw it is ten times stronger for you. You worry yourself about what new abilities you may discover and yet you have no clue about the one you already have, the power of a beautiful girl. You don’t even realize that the reason he hit the damn trash can in the first place is he was checking you out!”

“Really?” Brandi said, and then she giggled. “Ooops!”

Melissa laughed, “Every guy that we have passed has practically wrenched their neck when they saw you. You’re the kind of girl most of them have only seen in a magazine, or on stage at a strip club…or in a porn movie. The kid barely even noticed me.”

“Melissa, you are gorgeous!” Brandi protested. “I mean, I know I’m pretty but am I really that pretty?”

“Yes, you really are that pretty,” Melissa said. “But it’s more than that. It’s your presence. You exude sensuality. Last night, when I saw you for the first time I felt it. Even without makeup and dressed in those baggy clothes it was there, radiating from you. You come across like the girl next door and a centerfold all rolled into one. You are a walking, talking wet dream.”

“That’s what I was made to be,” Brandi said sadly. “I care about you a lot, too, Melissa. When I see a cute guy, what I feel is a plain, basic need for sex. What I feel with you is deeper than that. It’s deeper than what I feel even around another girl. I guess maybe in part it’s because of the connection from our past.”

“Look, I don’t know where our relationship will go,” Melissa said as they began walking again. “I know where I want it to go right now, but I don’t want to rush you into anything. But I do know that I want to be your friend and to help you.

“And that means we need to get you a doctor’s appointment this week. I assume you are not on any kind of birth control?”

“Shit, no, I hadn’t even thought of that!” Brandi exclaimed.

“I didn’t think you had,” Melissa said. “Will there be any problem if you have an exam? I mean, will the doctor notice anything?”

“Only if they did a DNA test with some pretty sophisticated gear. Sophisticated as in alien technology,” Brandi assured her, and then she laughed. “Or if they took some blood. A standard blood test wouldn’t show anything, but samples from me disappear within about an hour of being taken.”

“That’s pretty bizarre.”

“All part of the package,” Brandi told her. “I mean you don’t want your assassin leaving behind trace evidence now do you?”

“You are not an assassin Brandi.”

Now it was Brandi’s turn to stop and regard her friend.

“Don’t be so sure Melissa. I can and have killed, from a distance and up close and personal. And I did it without remorse because it had to be done. I’ve seen a man’s face through the scope of a rifle, seen the beads of sweat on his forehead, and then the look of shock on his face as I put a bullet in his brain. And then I lined up my next target and did it again.”

“Brandi, I…”

“I’m not trying to scare you,” Brandi said. “I just want you to know who I am and who I was. That part was not programmed into me by the machine; it’s why the machine chose me, at least part of it. I would never hurt anyone intentionally that didn’t try to hurt me or someone else first, but if it comes to killing I can and will do it and not shed one tear over it. Those three assholes in the alley last night have no idea how close to death they were. I let them off light. If the same thing were to happen now…if someone tried to hurt you or Karen…well, let’s just say I don’t like it when someone messes with my friends.”