Genomorph

Chapter 48

CHAPTER 48

Brandi opened her eyes and discovered she was nestled in a warm, soft bed. Light was streaming in through a nearby window, and there was a warm body nestled against her.

“Good morning beautiful.” Melissa whispered, snuggling closer to her. Brandi rolled over and crushed her lips against her lover’s.

“I thought I’d lost you.” she whispered when they came up for air.

“I thought we were both going to die.” Melissa said. “But that was ok; as long as we could spend our last moments together I was ready for it.”

Brandi turned away suddenly and began crying.

“Baby what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry Melissa I just couldn’t stop myself!” Brandi wailed.

“Oh pooh!” Melissa admonished her. “Are you still going on about sleeping with Dylan? Brandi there is nothing to forgive, but if you need to hear it I forgive you. And I still love you.”

“I did need to hear it,” Brandi said as she dried her eyes.

“Now tell me all about it.” Melissa grinned. “And I want details girlfriend!”

Brandi spent the next hour telling Melissa about Dylan; how they had met, what a condescending jerk he had been at the start, what a sweet and tender lover he had turned into.

“But what were you feeling and thinking inside?” Melissa asked.

“It started a lot like when we first made love,” Brandi said. “I was so keyed up; I wanted it but I was terrified by it. With you that first time I at least had an idea of what to do, but with Dylan I was lost. I mean I had been with women, I knew what to do but I just didn’t know how to do it. So I just let my body take over and it knew what to do.

“I was pretty awkward at first, but Dylan was so patient and when he touched me ….”

Brandi grew silent and Melissa waited. When it did not appear that she was going to continue, Melissa tried to ease her mind.

“Brandi it’s all right if it felt good to be touched by a man. It’s how you were made; it’s part of who you are.”

Brandi looked pained as she continued, carefully choosing her words.

“It did feel good. Like I said I just basically let my body go and went along for the ride. The second time I was more in control and able to really enjoy it more.”

“The second time?” Melissa grinned.

Brandi blushed, “Yes. There was a second and third and fourth time. I’m afraid I wore poor Dylan out.”

“Tramp!” Melissa said with mock severity. “I don’t know what I am going to do with a shameless thing like you.”

“There is something I want you to understand Melissa,” Brandi said, her voice growing quiet. “There was nothing there…emotionally. I can’t say what Dylan was feeling, though I did my best to make him understand, but all I felt was pure lust. I know now it was something I needed, a hurdle I had to clear in this whole process.”

“So you’re saying sex with a man makes you complete?” Melissa asked, a hint of concern in her words.

“No that’s not it at all!” Brandi cried. “I don’t even know if I can say this right, but I’ll try.”

Brandi thought for a long moment before speaking again.

“It’s like a painting of a beautiful woman,” she began carefully. “But it’s not finished. She doesn’t have a nose.”

Melissa struggled but could not hold in the giggles at the analogy.

“Hey I’m trying here!” Brandi pouted, and then continued. “So the artist puts the nose in, and it’s a beautiful nose. It’s just what the painting needed, and now it's finished. But as he looks at it, he knows it’s still not complete. So he takes it and puts it in an exhibit and people admire it, but still it lacks that thing that makes it complete.

“Then someone comes along and sees the painting and they feel themselves being drawn into it. So they buy it and take it home and hang it on their wall. And everyday they look at it and are drawn in to its beauty once more. Now the painting is complete, because someone loves it.

“Dylan finished me Melissa; he added that last detail that I was missing. But you love me. You make me complete. I won’t deny I care very much for Dylan; that’s why I think I finally gave in to the feelings. I wanted it to be with someone who meant something to me. But I know now that I could never love a man; not the way I love you.”

“I feel the same way.” Melissa said smiling. “Now, while I would like nothing better than to spend the whole day in bed with you, I believe there is someone downstairs that would really love to see you.”

*****

Susan was crossing the foyer on her way to the parlor when she heard a voice cry out from the top of the stairs.

“Mom!”

She turned to see Brandi flying down the grand staircase, quite an accomplishment as she was wearing heels. They were only one inch but Susan was certain she was going to fall and break her neck.

Of course she did not. Brandi reached the bottom of the staircase and Susan opened her arms. They hugged for a long time, each telling the other how glad they were to see them.

“It’s all right if I call you Mom, isn’t it?” Brandi asked.

“Of course it is sweetheart,” Susan said smiling. “Now let me look at my girl.”

Brandi stepped back and twirled around dramatically. She had dressed in a long coral colored skirt and a white blouse, very conservative for her. Her makeup and hair were perfect.

“It’s like a different person, not just from before the transformation but from the lab.” Susan said. “Brandi stunning doesn’t even begin to describe how beautiful you are. Are you okay, really okay?”

“I really am Mom,” Brandi said. “I know who I am now. I may not like all of it, but then a lot of people have to deal with that. But I know who I am and I can learn to live with it. I’m not saying I’m all the way there yet, but I know I can do it.”

“I’m very happy for you,” Susan said. “And very proud of you. Let’s go into the parlor so we can sit and have a long talk.”

“Oh wait, I want you to meet Melissa,” Brandi said, pulling Susan towards the foot of the stairs where Melissa stood.

“We’ve already met actually,” Susan said smiling and then gave Melissa a hug.

“Already met?” Brandi asked.

“You were in Zen sleep for almost three days,” Melissa told her. “You were shot twelve times and thrown from a car. You nearly killed yourself healing me.”

“Is that all I did?” Brandi asked, turning to look at Susan.

“Why don’t you two go get caught up.” Melissa said. “Susan and I have already talked and there’s a concert grand in the conservatory that’s calling to me.”

Brandi and Susan talked for hours in the parlor. They laughed and cried and laughed some more. The conversation was mostly from Brandi, and Susan asked her endless questions about how she was adapting. She asked not as a scientist but as a mother concerned for her only child.

“I wouldn’t have made it without Melissa,” Brandi said softly.

“She’s a lovely young woman,” Susan said. “I’m glad you found her.”

“I nearly got her killed,” Brandi said. “I don’t think I did a very good job keeping a low profile. A pretty poor performance for someone whose suppose to be the ultimate infiltrator.”

“You did fine,” Susan said, pulling her close and squeezing her shoulders. “You found yourself, or at least made a very good start towards finding yourself. But tell me, how do you feel?”

It was the same question Susan had asked her when she first awoke after the transformation. She had been unable to answer it then.

“I feel like a girl,” Brandi said with a smile.

Gretchen came in then and told them that lunch was ready. Neither of them had realized how much time had passed.

“After lunch I have a lot to tell you about yourself,” Susan said, “and Melissa.”

Brandi gave her a pained look and Susan hugged her saying, “Don’t worry dear, it’s not as bad as you fear.”

Melissa was waiting for them in the dining room and as they were about to sit down Ryan Sanders walked in, smiling as he saw Brandi.

“Ryan!” Brandi squealed as she rushed over and hugged him. He was startled but quickly recovered and gave her a big hug. He was in for another surprise.

“I made a promise to give you something when I saw you again,” Brandi said, and pulled his head down and kissed him firmly on the lips. Again it took Ryan a moment to recover, and even after he had he was a bit tense.

A gasp from the kitchen doorway broke the moment and Brandi turned to see Gretchen standing there, a look of shocked dismay on her face. Her lower lip quivered and it looked like she was about to drop the heavily laden tray. Brandi released Ryan and quickly moved to take the tray from Gretchen, setting it on the table. Gretchen stifled a cry and turned and fled back into the kitchen.

“Oh Ryan, I’m sorry,” Brandi said. “I had no idea.”

“Gretchen, she’s … well, we’ve gotten kind of close,” Ryan mumbled. “I better go talk to her.”

“You stay,” Brandi said. “I’ll take care of this.”

Brandi found Gretchen sitting on the steps outside the kitchen, crying. She stifled her tears and dried her eyes quickly as she heard Brandi open the door. Rising quickly, she turned to go back inside.

“Forgive me, Miss Brandi,” she said stiffly. “I should return to my duties.”

“Please sit down, Gretchen,” Brandi said. Gretchen made no move to do so, and Brandi said once more, “Please?”

Gretchen sat back on the steps and Brandi sat next to her.

“Gretchen, Ryan and I are just friends,” Brandi said. “If I had known … well I’m very sorry I hurt you. My mom told me what you went through, and I … well I would never want to add to the pain I know you feel always.”

“Forgive me Miss Brandi, but you can have no idea what I went through,” Gretchen said, her voice bordering on anger.

“Gretchen, did Mrs. Breton tell you anything about me?”

“I know bad men are after you,” Gretchen said. “I know they want to use you, like a weapon. But that is nothing like being used like a sex toy. Nothing like having a vile pig do with you as he pleases, until you actually think you like it!”

Brandi’s own eyes were moist as she said, “No it’s not anything like that. But I think maybe I can understand some of what you feel. Let me tell you how I was born.”

As Brandi related the story of her transformation, Gretchen’s eyes grew wide with amazement. And when she told her of the sexual desire programmed in her, the amazement became compassion and understanding.

“A few days ago, I finally gave in,” Brandi told her. “He’s a really nice guy and I like him a lot, which made it easier, but I don’t love him. I just needed him. And I enjoyed it the whole time it was happening.

“But after … after I felt wrong … dirty. And when I remembered how much I had been enjoying it I felt worse. And to make it even worse, I am very much in love with someone … not Ryan … and it made me feel like I was cheating, even though she assures me she understands.”

“She?” Gretchen asked.

“Yes,” Brandi smiled. “Melissa and I are in love. She’s the one I want to be with, and it kills me to know that just being with her is not enough because of what was programmed into me.”

“Then you and Ryan really are not .…”

Brandi shook her head, “I would not be here if Ryan had not helped me, and I was just thanking him. If I had known how you felt, I would have just shook his hand.”

“We have never…I mean we just talk,” Gretchen said. “And we walk the grounds each day. We have not even kissed…I don’t know if I can.

“I know the feelings you are talking about. The shame you feel. I am afraid if we were … if we did .…”

“You’re afraid they will come back,” Brandi said. Gretchen nodded. “I don’t have an answer for you, Gretchen. I still have so many questions myself. I know I’m a girl now, and I am comfortable with that, but I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable with my desire for men.”

“I am sorry for you, Miss Brandi,” Gretchen said. “And I am sorry for the way I acted. Please forgive me.”

“Only if you forgive me,” Brandi smiled. Gretchen nodded and the two girls hugged.

“You are very beautiful for a girl who used to be a man,” Gretchen said, and then giggled. “That is silly; you are very beautiful for any girl.”

“That’s what I was made to be, sweetie,” Brandi smiled.

They returned to the dining room and found that the others were already eating. Gretchen blushed and began apologizing profusely to Amanda, who waved her hand dismissively.

“Gretchen I was preparing and serving my own meals long before you came to stay with me,” Amanda said. “I have told you many times that you are not a servant in my home, and though I will be sad to see you leave I know one day you will. Now sit down next to Ryan and have lunch with us.”

“Have you given any thoughts to college, Gretchen?” Brandi asked. “Amanda told us you have finished your high school credits under tutors.”

“I am too old for college,” Gretchen said. “I am twenty three.”

“I’m twenty-five and I still attend college,” Melissa said. “And I know people a lot older who go.”

“Well technically I’m forty,” Brandi giggled. “When all this is over I’d like to go back to school.”

“I think that would be a great idea,” Susan said. “What do you want to study?”

“Well history and political science would probably be sooo boring the second time around,” Brandi said. “I was thinking along the lines of something more useful to my current situation, like Women’s studies. God I can’t believe I just said that.”

“I think you could benefit a great deal from that,” Susan said.

“I would like to study psychology,” Gretchen blurted, as though the words had escaped despite her best efforts to hold them in. Everyone turned to look at her, and she blushed deeply.

“I mean, the people Mrs. Breton brought here for me, they helped me so much. I would like to be able to help others that way.”

Brandi smiled and put her hand on Gretchen’s. “I think you’d make a great therapist. You have a very caring nature.”

After lunch Brandi and Melissa helped Gretchen clean up, despite her protests. Ryan returned to his computer and as Amanda and Susan sat at the table they could hear the three girls giggling and talking animatedly in the kitchen.

“I think Gretchen may be leaving here sooner than you expected, Amanda,” Susan said.

“I will miss her, but just as Brandi needs to be out there in the world, so does Gretchen. I’ve done all I can. If she stays here, she’ll only be hiding from life.”

Susan got up from her seat and walked over to the older woman.

“She’s lucky to have you,” she said, bending over to kiss Amanda on the cheek. “And so are we.”

*****

“She escaped,” Barbara Currant said quietly.

“She had help. Admiral Hammerstein has decided to take an active roll.” The Man told her.

“That will make things even more difficult,” Barbara said.

“No we end this,” The Man said, “call the lab and have all the research personnel evacuated. I am moving our remaining tactical units there as we speak.”

“You expect her to come to you?” Barbara asked, dubious.

There was a ruthless edge to The Man’s voice as he said, “Yes, once we provide her with the proper motivation.”

“And what is that?” Barbara asked.

“I’m certain we can come up with a suitable enticement.”

*****

“Why don’t we talk on the Veranda,” Susan suggested after lunch. “You can smoke out there.”

“That would be nice,” Brandi said.

“Tell me something, Brandi,” Susan asked as they sat down. Brandi and Melissa both smoking. “Do you smoke now only because of the programming or because you enjoy it?”

“That’s kinda hard to answer,” Brandi said, playing with her hair nervously. “When I smoke, I get, like, enjoyment … I mean I do like it. Mostly I do it when I’m nervous or to distract me from other urges.”

“There’s a reason I ask,” Susan said. “I’ve learned a good bit about how your programming works. It’s really a classic method of reward and, punishment is really not the right word, perhaps discomfort. Or maybe positive and negative reinforcement is better. When you feel the need to engage in a programmed behavior, you get uncomfortable, right?”

Brandi nodded, “I get very uncomfortable.”

“She can get downright bitchy,” Melissa giggled.

“But engaging in a programmed behavior makes you feel good, even if it’s not the behavior that you are resisting.”

“Yes but it gets less effective,” Brandi said. “I was able to hold out on having sex with a man for a long time by doing other things. But by the time I actually did it with Dylan, I, like, really wanted to do it.”

“You had sex with a man?” Susan asked. “You didn’t mention that earlier.”

“It happened the same day they came for me,” Brandi said, blushing.

“And how do you feel about it?” Susan asked.

“I’m very confused,” Brandi said, her voice trembling. “I mean, during it…while we were … doing it … I felt wonderful. But after … now … dammit I feel like a slut!”

“Brandi you’re being much too hard on yourself,” Susan said.

“The things I did, though…and it’s not really even that. It’s that I … I .…”

“You want to do it again,” Susan finished.

Brandi nodded. She turned to Melissa and began crying as she said, “I’m so sorry, Melissa! I thought maybe … maybe if I did it the feelings would go away…but they haven’t!”

“Brandi, listen to me,” Melissa said, taking her hands and holding them firmly. “I can handle it. I love you, and I know you have no control over these desires. I knew what you were going into this relationship. It’s no different than loving someone with a medical condition. Yes, it will be hard, but love will see us through.”

“There is good news too, sweetheart,” Susan said. “I believe you will find it easier to deal with.”

“You mean it will go away?” Brandi asked hopefully.

“No, the desire will always be a part of you,” Susan said. “Let me explain first what changes the machine made to you regarding your level of desire. The first involves your lovely tan.”

“My tan?” Brandi asked. “I don’t really do anything to maintain it. I thought I just had a dark complexion.”

“No it is actually a tan,” Susan told her. “When a person is exposed to the sun, the body produces MSH, melanocyte stimulating hormone. Melanocytes are cells in the epidermis, and MSH causes them to produce melanin, which makes the skin darken.

“A few years back a drug called Melanotan was developed, that produced the same effect. It was intended to be an alternative to sun exposure; you take a pill and get a tan without the risk of skin cancer. It actually works too.”

“I sense a ‘but’ coming here,” Melissa said.

“Yes in testing there were side effects,” Susan said. “MSH can also affect the hypothalamus of the brain, causing a dramatic increase in sex drive and a lowering of appetite in many test subjects given Melanotan. For that reason Melanotan has been called the ‘Ken and Barbie drug’ … because it makes you thin, tan and very horny.”

Brandi looked at her arm, her skin smooth and tan. It had never occurred to her that it could have anything to do with her level of desire.

“Your body produces MSH at a constant elevated level regardless of whether you are exposed to the sun or not,” Susan said. “That alone is enough to make your sex drive three times higher than normal.”

“But there’s more,” Brandi said.

Susan nodded, “The hypothalamus is not the only region of the brain that governs sexual desire. The amygdala, which is in the temporal lobe, also figures in. There are many cases documented where damage to the amygdala has resulted in hypersexuality. Your amygdala has a configuration that is different from a normal human brain, and I believe this also serves to add to your libido. Also, damage to the overlying temporal cortex can affect sexual behavior; not in the sense of increasing the sex drive but rather in choosing what is appropriate for sex. In cases of severe damage, the victim will literally attempt to ‘mate’ with practically anything in their environment. Your temporal cortex was not severely altered, but it is different.”

“So that’s why I’m attracted to men?”

Susan shook her head, “No, I suspect the opposite. That has reinforced your attraction to women that was carried over from Brandon. Your attraction to men is due to your transformation into a female, and one of the warrior genes.”

“The Mother gene,” Brandi said. “I kind of suspected that had something to do with it. You’re saying that eventually I will want to have babies.”

“The Forerunners needed warriors,” Susan said. “Apparently they were a very passive race; their pacifism was in their genes. When they found themselves embroiled in war, they began a program to produce warriors. We’re not sure if this was through genetic manipulation or selective breeding. Quite possibly it was a combination of both. The Genomorphs eventually became a part of this, since all of their children would possess the warrior genes of the parent.”

“Personally I don’t think very highly of these Forerunners,” Melissa said, her voice edged with anger. “They turned men into women driven by sex and then made them virtual baby factories too! What were they thinking?”

Brandi took Melissa’s hand and looked into her eyes. Melissa was surprised to see there were tears in those lovely violet eyes as Brandi spoke.

“Sweetie, please try to understand them,” she said. “They were against the wall…their race was on the verge of extinction. Remember that the men they changed volunteered. They did it for their people, and they did it gladly … I understand that.

“In the end, even the Genomorphs weren’t enough. Despite their efforts, they still lacked the one thing they truly needed to be able to defeat their enemies…the aggressiveness and the will to take the fight to them. They tried to fight a defensive war but the casualties were mounting. In the end something really terrible happened, and only a few survivors managed to escape their world and come here.”

“Brandi, where did that come from?” Susan asked. “How do you know that? I haven’t read any accounts in the files like that.”

“I just know it,” Brandi said. “I think there may be a lot of information in my head that I just haven’t learned how to access yet.”

“That’s very likely,” Susan said. “I do know that it took several years for a Genomorph to reach their full potential. It’s also likely you are still undergoing changes. The Forerunners created Genomorphs from their own people, you are not a Forerunner.”

“Not yet,” Brandi said. “I’m not really human anymore though either.”

“No, you’re not,” Susan admitted. “There are still so many questions, and we may never know all the answers. Genetically we and the Forerunners are very close, close enough that our species could interbreed. I also believe that while the protocol was triggered by your warrior genes, it was only able to transform you because of other factors. I think through some remarkable chance you had several Forerunner genetic markers in your DNA.”

Brandi lit another cigarette and regarded its glowing tip for a long time. Something had been nagging at her for some time, and now she felt as though she almost had a grasp on it.

“I think it was more than chance,” she said slowly. “I think I was meant to be … that I was planned. It sounds incredible I know, but I believe that they planned my creation thousands of years ago and have somehow been able to nudge and shape events, both in my life and long before, that lead to my being transformed into who I am now.”

“It’s not so incredible, love,” Melissa said. “They had technology that even to us seems magical. They traveled who knows how many millions of miles to this planet and left artifacts, but they disappeared. I mean think about it, ten thousand years ago they could have built a new civilization of their own here, but they didn’t.”

Brandi nodded at Melissa’s words. Something in what she said almost clicked … but not quite. There was a connection there but she could not quite make it … yet.

“So anyway, back to my attraction to men,” Brandi said. “Am I just going to have to accept that I need to go out and get laid once a month or something?”

“That may be the road you have to take,” Susan said. “I believe the programming was intended to allow you to accept and control your sexuality. But you weren’t a willing participant, and your warrior genes caused you to resist. The organization’s tampering with the program also played a part. As a result, the programming was corrupted. That doesn’t mean that you can’t control it, just that you will have a much harder time. There is more involved now, too. You see, Melissa is part of it now.”

“What do you mean?” Brandi asked, her horrified look shifting from Susan to Melissa.

“We’re linked now, love,” Melissa smiled. “Susan has already told me about this, and honestly I think it’s wonderful. To an extent, I can feel what you feel, at least when it comes to strong, emotional responses. And you will feel what I feel in the same way.”

“But you’re not gonna start wanting to be with men are you?”

Susan hesitated before answering, “Brandi, please try not to get too upset over what I am about to say.”

Brandi gave Susan her full attention and nodded, “I’ll try, Mom.”

“I learned more about the bonding process, which is how you were able to save Melissa. In fact you went beyond it, pushing yourself to the very limits of your abilities because you love her. Unfortunately, I was not able to get the latest information to you and at any rate even if you had known you would have still done what you did.

“When a Genomorph bonded with another, their mate was then immediately placed in the GMU so that the nanocyborgs could be reprogrammed for the mate’s genetic profile. By now Melissa has a full complement of them within her, but they are all encoded with your DNA.”

Brandi looked at Melissa and for the first time noticed that her lover’s hair was no longer black, but rather a dark, reddish brown. It was very subtle but the bright sunlight made the red highlights much more visible.

“Yes Brandi, I’m going blonde,” Melissa said.

“Brandi, there is still time,” Susan said quickly. “The nanocyborgs are currently working to rewrite Melissa’s genetic structure to match that pattern, but they can’t do it with the speed the GMU can. They have also concentrated their work initially on alterations to enhance her abilities because of the circumstances behind the bonding. Melissa’s senses will not be at the level yours are, but they should be close.”

“Still time…time for what?” Brandi demanded.

“Getting agitated will not help matters,” Susan said calmly. “Can you listen to what I have to say … please?”

Brandi nodded, lighting another cigarette. The ashtray on the table was rapidly filling up and Melissa was not even smoking any longer.

“As I said, Melissa’s genetic code is being rewritten to match yours,” Susan continued. “The nano-cyborgs cannot do it quickly though. It will take days, possibly even weeks for them to complete the process, as long as you don’t introduce more into her system.”

“And if they do?”

“If, and I stress if, they are allowed to complete the process, Melissa would be your genetic twin. You would be physically identical in all respects. They cannot program her as you were, but they can make the alterations to her brain chemistry and configuration that give you your elevated sex drive.

“They also cannot turn her into a true Genomorph. That comes from the second set of DNA…Forerunner DNA…that was grafted onto your genetic structure creating your quad helix. She would share your ability to heal, though at a lesser rate; your immunity to disease and aging, and to a far lesser extent your physical enhancements. They are also incapable of altering her molecular structure the way yours was altered, so she would not have your ability to alter your form.”

“You said if,” Brandi said. “Does that mean we can stop it?”

“We can’t stop the enhancements, they were meant to be a part of the bonding. We can stop the cosmetic changes.” Susan said. “If we get her to the machine in Nevada, the nanocyborgs can be reprogrammed with Melissa’s genetic code.”

“Will that reverse the changes?”

“If we had a pattern of Melissa’s original DNA, the machine could restore her appearance completely,” Susan said. “But we don’t have that, since she has never been scanned by a GMU. At best, we will be able to halt the physical changes at whatever point they have reached.”

“Melissa I’m sorry,” Brandi cried. “I didn’t know .…”

“Because I didn’t tell you,” Susan said. “If anyone is to blame it’s me.”

“Both of you, like, stop it!” Melissa demanded in a petulant tone. Brandi and Susan stared at her, until she burst out laughing.

“I’m kidding,” she grinned. “Brandi, you have nothing to be sorry for. If you had known, what would you have done … let me die?”

“No, of course not .…”

“Then stop beating yourself up about it!” Melissa insisted. “Let’s just find a way to get to that machine. Preferably before you and I are able to share bras.”

Despite herself, Brandi started giggling. Then a thought occurred to her, and a smile spread across her face.

“We do have a record of Melissa’s DNA,” she said.

“Where?” Susan asked.

Brandi’s smile broadened as her form changed into Melissa’s.

“Right here in me.”