Mental Meanderings

The Holiday Season ie. chaos and depression

Isn't it strange how life, love and family is highlighted in December as we swiftly approach the holidays and the death of a year. Refections on the past year bring a wry smile and a deep seated sadness at all the opportunities lost, and experiences missed. It's not even December yet and people are feeling the strain of the holiday season.

What is it about celebrations? In long years past they were happy, joyfilled occasions. I remember family gatherings, presents, smiles and a lot of love. I remember being excited this time of year. The stores were arrayed in so many toys and clothes and any material thing you might desire or gift. People moved, one of my favorite things is to be surrounded by seas of people, they don't notice me but they're moving with a vibrant energy like blood pulsing through the veins of civilysation.

Now I'm older I notice that there were many elements of humanity and it's approach to the holidays that I didn't notice as a child. That same crowd of people give off a disconcerting air of worry, haste, impatience, and frustration. They aren't filled with a joy for life. They aren't excited about the days to come and the opportunity to start fresh in the new year.

I notice now that I'm the one buying the gifts instead of recieving them that toy prices tend to triple from about September through to mid-January. I've decided this is purely tactical on behalf of the stores. For starters, shoppers are frantic and impatient so they are less likely to consider carefully the value of their purchases. They know people feel obliged to give so they know that just because you could have bought it in June for $20 doesn't mean you won't now pay $60. They also know that they're lining up the New Year sales. Yeah 50% off they say so you get that thing that cost $20 in June for $30 now.

*sighs* I guess that's a jaded outlook and with two young children I try to remember my youthful exhuberance and get down to their level to see the excitement and joy. I try to remember the fun that goes into putting up Christmas decorations and the wonder of the lights and shiny tinsel. It's so easy however to reflect on the clean up to come and the difficulty of stringing those lights and tinsel.

Still, despite my aged years *chuckles* I tend to look forward to Christmas and the New Year with hope and perhaps expectations that I shouldn't allow myself. Invariably I'm disappointent when it doesn't prove to be the magical experience I remember from my childhood. I love the opportunity to gather with my family but even that has shrunk over the years to a few special people instead of the vibrant crowd of extended family.

Most would perhaps be glad not to face the rowdiness. The shouts and laughter, the games of pool and darts. Pinball machines, dinners of dozens of people. Kids splashing, swimming, chasing, dogs barking, hide and seek, tantrums, petty squabbles. Voices louder than normal with drink. Competativeness and memory lane rambles. *sighs* To tell the truth, I must be crazy but I truely do miss all that.

Now days we face the holidays with the chaos and depression it involves. Why do we put such pressures on ourselves when this time of year should be a reflection of joy and love? It doesn't matter which holiday you celebrate, they all try to bring to the fore the importance of life and family. Perhaps we need to begin appreciating all that has been, cherishing all that we have. Give the gift of yourself, your smile, your time.

Alas, just because I wish it were different doesn't make it so. That means scraping together enough money to get my family, especially my children, some great gifts. Thankfully spending time with them will bring me the joy I need to get me through the worries.

While the New Year gives everyone the opportunity to put aside the past and start fresh. I believe each new moment does that. I face the next with hope, and a smile.