Waiting Outside the Window

Chapter Five

At first, Val and Ryan hung out every day after school, but after a few weeks they got too much homework to see each other. As for the weekend, they were always hanging out with their other friends. Ryan could usually be found out front of their neighborhood grocery store with Eric, Jesse, and Caleb. They would always badger him to try a cigarette, but he would always decline. Val was usually at Felicity’s with Amber and sometimes Melissa. They would have sleepovers, go shopping, and talk.

One day, while Val was hanging out with her friends, she spotted Ryan outside their neighborhood store with his friends. She didn’t say anything to her friends for fear that they might want to meet him. It wasn’t that she was embarrassed so much as she didn’t want to meet his friends.

“You guys go ahead. I’ll be right there,” she told them.

Felicity and Amber walked ahead of her and around the corner to Val’s house without questioning. Val quickly walked by them and behind a tree. I feel like I’m in a cheesy spy movie she thought, playing the Mission Impossible theme song in her mind. They couldn’t see her, but she could see them as well as hear them.

“…just one,” the girl finished. Val hadn’t caught the first bit of her sentence, but she could guess what they were talking about.

A tall guy with black hair was holding a pack of cigarettes out in front of Ryan, who was shaking his head.

“What’s one cigarette gonna do to you?” the tall guy asked.

“I told you, I don’t smoke. It’s just not my thing,” Ryan said.

“If you try just this one, then we’ll quit bothering you,” a short guy with brown hair said. Ryan’s face lifted from the ground.

“You’ll stop forever? Like, I won’t have to deal with this every day?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Fine. I’ll try one, but only one.”

Val slapped her hand over her face. “You retard,” she murmured.

The tall one’s face lit up as he held the pack out toward Ryan. Ryan took a cigarette out of the pack and held it between his fingers like the other three did. He put it to his lips and the girl lit it for him, smiling.

Ryan inhaled a bit of smoke and coughed.

The tall guy patted his back. “It’s always awkward the first time. Try it a few times more. You might even enjoy it.”

And that’s exactly what Ryan did. He smoked for a bit more and grew to like it in those few minutes. Val wanted to cry. How could you? she thought. You said you wouldn’t start smoking…

Val didn’t stay any longer. She ran off to her house before she could start crying.

When she got back she pretended everything was OK, and when asked what she needed from the store, she said her mom wanted her to pick up something, but when she got in there she couldn’t remember what it was, so she left. When they bought it, the three of them went into the kitchen and got some ice cream.

For the next few days Val couldn’t get the image of Ryan with a cigarette out of her mind. When he called after school, she told her mom she couldn’t talk, and when she saw him outside, she darted into her room and closed the curtains; anything to get the smell of smoke and the picture from that day out of her mind.

I hate when I’m right about these things. I told him what would happen if he hung out with them, but he never listens. I should have known this was coming.

“Hey Val, wanna hang out with me and my group at lunch today?” Tess asked while they filed out worksheets in Spanish class.

“Sure, why not?” Val said. She and Tess had become good friends, hanging out in Spanish and chemistry, so other than the Ryan incident, which was a week before, Val was feeling pretty good about everything. Her only issue was slowly disappearing from the back of her mind, as if Ryan had never existed.

“Hey, so how’s your friend Ryan lately? You used to talk about him all the time, but then you kind of stopped,” Felicity said as they walked to lunch together.

“We don’t talk much anymore. Too busy.” Val offered no further explanation.

Felicity only nodded her head. She didn’t get into people’s business unless they asked her to themselves.

“Why so blue panda bear?” Amber asked in a French accent. She got the line off a candy bar commercial. “I swear, you guys look depressed,” she said, changing back into her normal voice.

Felicity was staring at her food blankly, and Val was staring at the doors to the cafeteria.

“Just waiting,” Val said.

“I don’t wanna talk about it now,” Felicity said.

Tess and a few other goth/punk/emo kids that Val didn’t know walked through the door. Val scooped up her tray and stood up.

“Where you goin’?” Amber asked.

“I told someone else I would eat with them,” Val replied.

“Who?”

“Just some girl from Spanish class.”

Val left the table and walked quickly over to Tess and her friends. Tess smiled and waved, while the others stared. Amber and Felicity were out of sight now, so Val didn’t have to deal with their puppy dog eyes, asking her to stay with them.

“Hey Tess,” Val said.

“Hey.” Tess looked from her friends to Val. “This is Val,” she finally said. “These are my buddies Joe, Sam, Emily, and Jake.”

Joe had fiery red hair that hung over his eyes, a grey suit-jacket on, and a pair of old blue jeans. Sam had black hair hanging in her face, a My Chemical Romance sweatshirt, and baggy black and red pnats with chaings hanging off them. Emily had short blonde hair, a black corset over a red shirt, and a blue mini skirt over black tights. Jake had tealish-blonde hair, a Clash shirt on, and relatively tight jeans with dental floss holding them together. To top that off, Jake wore a leather jacket with two inch high spikes on them.

“So, where should we eat?” Emily asked.

“How about we go out back where the stoners are?” Jake suggested.

“Meh, sure, why not?”

They all followed Jake outside behind the school, where they found some kids leaning against the wall with cigarettes in hand. Beside them were a few dirty hippies with no shoes on, high as a kite, and about ready to pass out.

“Those guys are retarded,” Tess mumbled once they had settled down. She was eyeing them like they were filthy and useless.

“Hey!” Joe said.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a stoner too. Got it.” Tess rolled her eyes, and then turned to Val. “Joe’s a smoking, drinking stoner. He’s stupid. Jake’s a wannabe stoner, which may be worse. He just doesn’t get it. Emily’s a wannabe punk who’s really more of a whore, but she’s cool anyway. And Sam’s just wants to fit in with us because she’s shy and doesn’t make friends easily, so she changes for people,” she whispered.

“What about you?”

“Me? I’ve been called a general poser. I dress how I think is cool for me and people call me a pose because of it.”

“What are you two whispering about over there?” Jake asked.

“We’re talking about you,” Tess said, looking Jake straight in the eye.

“Ooh, what are you saying about me?” Jake fluttered his eyelashes as best he could and tried to put on a flirty face. In the end, he just looked stupid.

Val laughed. “I’m afraid we’re being bitches,” she said.

Jake stopped and smiled. “Oh really, what a shame. You sure you weren’t talking about how you want my bod?”

Tess and Val rolled their eyes in unison. “Keep dreaming,” Tess said.


Ryan stood out behind the school with his usual crowd. He was leaning against the wall with a cigarette dangling from his lips. He hadn’t thought mucha bout how he suddenly found himself craving a cigarette at least three times a day. He decided to keep it to a minimal of two, though. One during lunch and one after school to tide him over. He carried Axe body spray with him to get the lingering smell of smoke out of his clothes, and if his mom still smelled it, he would shrug and tell her some of his friends smoked. She bout it, of course, because in her mind Ryan never did anything wrong, and would never give into peer pressure.

“Hey, me and some old friends of mine are gonna chill tomorrow night at my house. Anyone wanna come?” Eric asked.

“Is there gonna be any stuff?” Jesse asked, smiling wickedly.

“They’re bringing Triple C,” Eric replied, grinning as well.

“What’s Triple C?” Ryan questioned.

“It pretty much makes you feel drunk,” Caleb explained.

“Take six or so pills and you’ve got a nice buzz for a few days,” Jesse added. “That’s why we’re doing it tomorrow. We can sleep through the weekend.”

Ryan looked skeptically at his friends as he took another drag of his cigarette.

“Oh, come on. It’s not gonna hurt you. We’ll make sure you don’t overdose or anything. Oh, just don’t come with a full stomach. It’ll make you puke.” Eric threw his cigarette butt on the ground, stepped on it, and slapped Ryan on the shoulder. “You’re coming, right?”

“Uh, sure, I guess.”