Diary of a Middle-aged Woman

03/13/07 - Jelly Bean Binge

It's Easter time and all of the supermarkets, pharmacies, department stores and every other retail outlet is selling Easter candy. You can see the brightly colored Peeps, chocolate bunnies, pastel Hershey's Kisses and every other delicious variety of candy imaginable. But, there is only one that I really, I mean really, care about. That is the jelly bean.

This is the beginning of my annual Jelly Bean Binge. Every year at this time I have this uncontrollable craving for jelly beans. I try my best to walk past them without buying them, but my willpower is conveniently unavailable. I scan the shelves, practically drooling, looking for the right variety. They can't be the spice ones, or the Star Burst brand. The 'classic' fruit jelly beans are the only ones that will do.

I know this is contrary to everything you know about me. After all, I am a self-proclaimed chocoholic, and proud of it. However, there is also a seasonal candy demon inside me. The candies that are sold for such holidays as Valentine's Day, Easter, Mother's Day, Halloween, and Christmas always have at least one variety that I can't resist. The demon is awaken and the seasonal candy binge begins.

For example, during the Valentine's Day season, it was the little jelly hearts. I went through I don't know how many bags of them. It doesn't help my addiction that they are bargain priced either. During Easter, it's jelly beans; Mother's Day, chocolate anything. Then we come to Halloween and good ol' candy corn. I've eaten candy corn to the point where I can't stand the sight of it. I've eaten it so much that I've made myself sick. My tongue is permanently orange. Most of the time this is well before Halloween arrives. And for Christmas it is a chewy taffy-like peppermint flavored candy. Delicious!

So, now I'm living with my jelly bean binge. This morning while brushing my teeth, I noticed my tongue was multi-colored from the jelly beans I ate in the middle of the night. Yes, I actually woke up in the middle of the night to eat jelly beans.

Don't worry, I have a plan. I'm hoping I will make myself so sick of them, that I won't be able to eat anymore. Realistically, this hasn't happened in the past three years. Last year, since they are available year-round, I ate them straight through to Halloween. The only thing that saved me then was - you guess it - candy corn. I switched one addiction for another.

By the way, these binges are in addition to my usually daily intake of chocolate. A day without chocolate is, well. . . just wrong. At least I switched to sugar-free chocolate. But, when you eat as many pieces as I do, I think it sort of cancels out the sugar-free properties.

Perhaps now you can understand why I can't shake those pesky nine pounds that keep haunting me.