Once Upon A Shadow, Deep Inside A Dream

The Muse's Death 01-29-07

Everything looks wrong and no words are working,
The Muse in me is dead, starved, if she ever existed before,
The creativity in me has fled, left for someone with greater talent,
Someone with a flair, desire, longing for the written word,
Someone better than me…

There is nothing I can do, no stories left in me to write,
Is it over for me? The writing in me so short lived, so quickly gone,
Will I even miss it? It seems as though I am fighting an invisible enemy,
Every time I pick up the pen, I put down the hope that it’s all in my head,
My Muse isn’t truly dead…

Yet, I cannot write anything, I cannot create, everything is crap,
I find that solitude doesn’t help, that the forced attempt does nothing,
I find that my sorrow doesn’t inspire, that the words are dirt in a world of sand,
I find that I have nothing to write, that the vessel within me is empty and therefore,
There is nothing for me here…

I dream and long and desire to be a writer, to live and breathe and exist for words,
I dream of a life when my words are read by nations, my stories portrayed on screens,
I dream of a life when my Muse isn’t dead, when she inspires me daily, like she used to,
I dream of a life different from the one I’ve had, the one I currently tread, wordless,
Dreary, dull and blank of stories…

When did it leave me? When did she die? I should have felt it…should have seen…

But the Muse is dead and I can no longer battle against the tide of failure,
What is it that makes me long to write, to create other worlds, lives, people?
I call out, beg for the talent to return to me, but the mocking silence remains,
I type words, form paragraphs, then delete them for their lack of soul,
My Muse has taken my writing soul…

Someday I hope to return to the hallways I have forsaken for friends and television,
Someday I hope to return to the doors that I locked with bitterness and fear,
Someday I hope to revive what has died within me, to dance with words again,
Someday I hope to see the words flit around me, forming a path only I can tread,
A path I must describe…

Someday I hope to write again…