Conscious Running Thoughts

Recover Inspiration

My spirit stretches up and urges me to find the stimulus that will deliver my thoughts from fear. I am pushing out and resisting the complacency. I pray to rekindle every cell of my body and soul by making my way through the myriad of memories as I search for that moment when I lost what I knew to be the true and real love; the love that kept my innocence and belief in happiness and greatness of spirit.

The slides are quick and I am unable to linger, for they fade. I am stuck aching for more detail or to remember a message I can decipher and use to pave a future path to follow. I try to fast forward without risking missing a link. If I am a culmination of all my life experiences, then I must possess an answer and am merely impaired by the mass of knowledge within me. I have simply overlooked the obvious. I must recover my inspiration.

And then I fall back into the cave of withdrawal as though I could escape from the pain likely waiting for me. Most times I find myself thinking of sadness, misery, and pain and how justice has become an ideal and rarely a reality. I examine my awareness that others are victimized and contemplate suffering. I try to recognize the ways I have created my own pain so I can stop making the same choices that contribute time after time. I revert to worry and self doubt. Intellectually I realize that it is the fear that cancels the faith.

As though I awaken from a deep sleep, I am presented again with the daily circumstances and routines. I pray often for a sign to follow so I can say the right thing and do the right thing. Perhaps the key will manifest itself from the dreams I keep alive within my idealistic hopes. Perhaps I must determine my search as a destination and go on.

I recall moments when my heart was open and flooded with love and the acceptance of life. I aspire to stimulate the energy of love so I can recreate it at will and establish a rule or clue for me to refer to in the future. When love is generated and shared and active the true essence of faith is revealed and the fear disappears.
I vow that life was not meant for choosing the color of walls or ornaments, our incessant interest in pleasure. People have resorted to focusing their minds on the irrelevant and mundane. Life was meant for the rediscovery of the power of faith and love. I have never found any earthly comforts that matched the fever of love besides faith.

Faith can diminish the sad memories with forgiveness and allow me to understand the meaning so I can rise to the surface of time with courage. Only then will I be able to revive the nugget of the light and ignite its power to engulf my mind and shimmer in my eyes. The ignition will be timeless and effortless and will inspire love to resist fear. Once I crave the deliverance, my faith will reveal itself in mercy and I will not fear today. I must rescue the faith and destroy the fear; a noble cause. Perhaps today could be the day I find that inspiration.

cincin