It's Just a Thought

Rest In Peace, Denny

         I graduated from Anderson High School in 1966. We had our 40th reunion just last year. To date, my class has lost about 25 members, for various reasons. We lost 7 in the Vietnam War, quite a few, including one pair of twin sisters, to cancer of various types, and a small number (less than 5 I think) to suicide.
         I was touched by the loss of all of them, of course, because I knew them all. But this afternoon it hit really close to home.
         My two best friends in high school were Dennis Atkinson and Donald Loheide. For most recent years, Dennis, his wife Pat and son Matthew have lived in Colorado, where they were both teaching, and Don and his family lived in Georgia.
         Flash back to 1964, 65, and 66. Dennis and I had been inseparable since 8th or 9th grade. Outside of school, we were often both at his house, or both at mine. Don, his parents and younger brother Richard (who later became a teacher at Anderson and died of cancer some years ago) moved to the school district before our Junior year began in 1965. It took no time at all for us to become a trio.
         These two showed how deeply they felt about our friendship in the help they openly offered throughout 1966 to Linda and I when my parents were trying to keep us apart for the 5 years it would have taken me, then, to finish college. Two more loyal friends no man could ask for.

         Back to the present. I had an eye appointment this afternoon. My eye doctor, who happens to be an Anderson classmate of ours, and also a member of our class' reunion committee as I am, told me that he found out just today that Dennis had died. That Dennis' sister Diane had called and left him a message. There was no other information in the message, but Howard will try to reach Denny's sister, and I will try to reach Pat. Thankfully, she and I have talked on the phone in the past so hopefully my name won't be totally foreign to her. I want to let her know I understand her pain after losing Linda to death myself in 1980, with as close as Denny and I had been, and to find out, if she's willing to tell me, the cause, date and time of his death. I can't afford to go there for the funeral; indeed it may already have taken place. I don't yet have a time frame here.
         I've felt numb since Howard told me the news about 4:15 P.M. this afternoon. I still feel an emptiness, and will for quite a while. Howard is going to get our reunion committee together for a (way - ) overdue "after reunion" meeting. One of the subjects we'll talk about will undoubtedly be recent changes in the status of class members. And it's going to be kinda hard to deal with hearing Denny's name in that discussion. Maybe more will be added here later. It feels like doing this helps me deal with his passing...
         Update. I called Pat about 9:00 P.M. tonight, 7:00 P.M. her time in Colorado. She gave me the details, and we had a nice warm discussion about how we each lost our spouse. She appreciated my sharing with her as it let her fully realize that I understand her position.
         Dennis died from a very rare form of melanoma. By the time he found the lump behind his ear, it had already spread. He fought it for 2 1/2 years, including three surgeries, a year of radiation and a year of chemo. He finally went into the rapid breathing stage, and his heart gave out at 4:00 A.M. on June 15th, 2007.
         I called Howard back and filled him in so he would not have to disturb Denny's sister. We immediately agreed that we're both at least a little more relaxed now that we know the when and how of this. We have closure. For many of our classmates who have passed on, we don't know those things. It's nice to know them on this one.

Rest In Peace, Denny