Who Am I?

I have more information

Aug 1, 2007

Not that it's info you are looking for...lol...but the schools opened today for new students and I was able to call and get info. I've been on the phone alot actually. I've also done some packing...I need to get my butt in gear and get some major work done becasue we are having a yard sale next weekend.

Last week I wrote a poem....one that was given to me...one that I wasn't overly comfortable writing..but one that those of you who read it really seemed to like it.  It can be found "Invalid Item"  here.

I received an email earlier this week from an online friend who is currently fighting a very rare and aggressive form of breast cancer called Pagets Disease-http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/DS/00771.html. There is also another Paget's Disease...that has to do with the bones I believe...and they are 2 different things.

Anyway...I've known this "frend" for about 5 years...a little more...we met in an online chat room-that later ended up as an msn group....many are gone from there but it still remains with it's boards available to it's members to update each other...that's how I found out about Bear's cancer.....Bear was a big source of comfort and encouragement after I lost my parents...things had happened in our lives that we'd not been in touch much..but when I heard of her battle..we got back in touch...I've been praying for her daily. The other day I received an email update and in reading it, realized that that poem I wrote..the poem I struggled with writing was in fact for her. I've changed it...just a bit...and I've dedicated it to her.  She has always called me Momma-because of my screenname...hoosiermomma2...was the same on msn....she has a way of typing my name...that it seems like I can actually hear her calling across the room...and see her running towards me arms wide open.  It's not a typical relationshipt....but it's one of those relationships that if I had never had it...or didn't have it...I wouldn't be the same person...and it's one of those that makes me know that online friendships CAN work.

In true bear fashion...I was sent Bear sized hugs over the internet wires....those same hugs that comforted me when I felt so alone. I almost cried from her email...my little poem....truly touched her heart. She said, when I was on IM with her today that it was like I was with her in the waiting room that first day.....that gave us both goosebumps...good ones.

I write because I believe I've been given a gift...I write because I have to. I write because, at times, I"m directed by God to. The other day  almost didn't...because of my own comfort level..had I balked and not written it...Bear wouldn't have her poem...she wouldn't have felt the same connection and known she wasn't alone...and I would have not had my confirmation that I'd been searching for that I AM supposed to write. I've struggled with that..since signing up for school...worried about the time and energy and money it will take...not sure if I'd jumped the gun with what I thought God wanted me to do. I also would've lost the chance to share my love, God's love, encourage and support a friend who's been there for me in my bad times.

I'm honored to have been given the task of writing for another...I feel so second rate and mediocre when I read what others have written...or when I struggle with trying to make my characters behave....And then there are the time when I write "Invalid Item"  or "Encounters with Christ"  and KNOW they are directed by God...when those times it doesnt' matter what anyone else thinks...as long as I do as I'm supposed to do...I'm glad I chose to listen to that prompting.

I know not everyone who stops by is a Christian...I know not everyone who reads what I write appreciates that element in my writing. I feel sorry for those who don't know Christ as I do...and I hope someday you will....the power and energy I feel when I write for Christ is something I can't begin to explain. Bear asked me earlier if it was eerie...and it was, in a way..because I've not written something spiritually connected before that wasn't emotionally connected to me......but it was very heartening, for encouraging...and a bit scary to know those were the feelings SHE was feeling when she went through that first vist. I don't know why God chose me....but I'm overwhelmed with emotion that He did.

Not my usual entry......

Back to packing...

blessings and peace to you all
Vicky