Somewhere Else

Chapter 5: Brecker

As soon as she walked into him and hugged around his waist, he knew he was in trouble beyond putting the ornaments up early. No amount of pictures was going to make things right again. When she pulled away to wipe her tears from her eyes, he gripped her head lightly and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He didn’t stand that much taller than her.

He wanted to apologize and make everything better but he didn’t know yet what he was apologizing for. As she pulled away, she inhaled deeply and sounded as though she was about to speak, so he waited patiently for her words.

“Brecker, you’re my very best friend. You’ve done so much for me and for Winter, but I think it’s time for me to move on.”

This was not what he’d expected. Again, it might be selfish of him, but he thought of them as a family. He didn’t ever consider that they might not live together forever. If this was all over decorations, he’d made it good somehow. He couldn’t bear the thought of driving out the two most important people in his life. However, he knew if Jane had a boyfriend and she was moving in with him, he’d have no say. He could accept that, maybe. Honestly, he wouldn’t have a choice.

Trying his hand at humor to help him through this, he joked, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“Babe, I’ve been married, been divorced, and I have a baby all my own. But I’ve never lived on my own. This is something I need to do. I can’t rely on your or anyone else to take care of me for my entire life.”

James never said he couldn’t know, but she was pretty sure that was part of the game. If Brecker knew he still had control over her after all these years, he’d go ballistic. Brecker was a sweet guy most of the time but she’d seen him angry. It was nothing pretty. He’d never directed such anger at her but it was there all the same. She hated even thinking about what might happen if he came across James.

“Besides, you’ve got a life outside of us now. I wouldn’t want to hold you back.”

As soon as Jane moved in with him, he’d buckled down and seriously got to writing. His first published stories were to erotic magazines. He’d made a couple thousand dollars off each story and usually paid up rent for a few months when those checks came in. When he started making more money, he hired his best friend to manage his finances. Later on he got hired to write for a very sophisticated erotic magazine for me who love men. His life, along with his name, changed.

The success of his short stories pushed him to write a novel. Before he could do anything else, he needed an editor. The name Lane Burgess came up and after reading all of his qualifications, he was hired. Not terribly long after that, he too was hired on at Blue. With his help, Brecker’s novel became a best seller.

Eventually what impressed him about Lane enough to hire him as his editor became enough to start a more intimate relationship with him. Their writing styles were the least of their differences. For example, Lane had a kid. Brecker had none. He was incapable of having children, and not just because of his sexual orientation. Winter was the closest he’d ever get. Lane wrote owner’s manuals and other technical guides. Brecker wrote erotic stories and anything having to do with gay rights. Lane was thirty-seven at the time that they met. Brecker was a mere twenty-two. He didn’t care; love was blind.

“Writing? Lane? I would never ask you to leave because of them of them.”

Maybe she was trying to tell him something more; like that he’d been spending too much time with Lane. He had a sixteen year old son that they were scheduling around though, because Lane was far from out and he didn’t want to have to explain that to Job anytime soon. So he really didn’t see a whole lot of him, especially not on the weekends. He’d made a promise to Jane that he would be around to watch Winter so she could work and make as much as she could and no new flame in his life was going to deter him from that promise.

“Your relationship is going to grow and you deserve that. What are you going to do when your boyfriend wants to see where you live? That’s going to be an awkward situation for everyone involved.”

Suddenly he knew what this was about. Stepping back abruptly, he stared at her for a long moment before assuming a terribly defensive position, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Why would it be awkward? Because I’m gay? You don’t want Winter to see me like that, right? That’s what this is all about. I’m okay so long as I have no personal life of my own. Then, when I finally find someone who cares about me you take away everything important to me, punishing me for my sexual orientation! And here I thought you were different. I didn’t think it’d be a problem for you.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he regretted them. When he saw the pain in her eyes from what he’d said, he wished he could take every one of them back. Instead, he lifted his hands to his face and rubbed, trying to relax himself.

“When?”

“After Christmas.”

Good. At least he’d have the holidays. If his home was suddenly an empty house, he didn’t know what he’d do. Still, it wasn’t enough time for his liking. Strangely enough, right after she said that, a very disturbing image of a burning house came to mind. He reasoned it was a representation of his anger and nothing else. He really needed to get that under control.

“Fine.” He turned around and retreated to the living room where he snatched back his fedora and promptly tackled Winter to the ground, pouring all of his love into every hug he gave her.