Finding My Stride in Life

So much to say, so little writing ability!

So, as I sat down to write in my blog after so much time, I wondered just where would I begin, and would anyone even give a darn.

I have found that I have this self-demeaning quality about myself; it is supposed to help shield me from any deviations in the behavior of those I "know" or are around me. So, if I don't hear from anyone, then I can say that I wasn't expecting it anyway. And with my blog, if few people care about what I write, I have a low expectation for them to enter into my thinking or what I struggle with. I think Montaigne wrote about this way of thinking but he phrased it better than me.

I've been engrossed in my studies but I find that I really miss visiting WDC on a daily, hourly, minute by minute basis the way I used to.

Sometimes, but only when I think of my visits here the way they were when I became a member back in 2004. I was so green and my eyes were wide open, just looking for friendship and understanding. I felt happy just thinking of signing on the site.The people that befriended me mostly are no longer here, and I find that the honesty is running low with many people. Back then, when people committed to a donation, they acted as if you lived in the same house with them. They were concerned with how you viewed them and would never think of bailing out without explanation.

That's not the way it is now. Members will donate to an auction or to review an item, and just never show up. Oh, no, they don't leave the site; they stay here. They "see" you around and they never say a thing. It is so sad. And they continue to donate but they pick and choose who they make good on with their donations and those that they could give a second thought about.

I find all of this so disconcerting and just find myself limiting my time here for awhile. Not gone, not going to leave, just limiting myself while I mull it all over.