My December

Irvine

Irvine
Are you there?
Are you watching me?
As I lie here on this floor
They say you feel what I do
They say you’re here every moment

Will you stay?
Stay ‘till the darkness leaves
Stay here with me
I know you’re busy, I know I’m just one
But you might be the only one who sees me
The only one to save me

Why is it so hard?
Why can’t you just take me?
I don’t have much to go
Before I fade completely

Can you feel how cold I am?
Do you cry as I do?
Are you lonely up there all by yourself?
Like I have felt all my life
The only one to save mine

How are you so strong?
What’s it like to feel so free?
Your heart is really something
Your love, a complete mystery to me

Are you there watching me?
As I lie here on this floor
Do you cry, do you cry with me?
Cry with me tonight

Are you there?
Are you watching me?
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Word Count: 1,236

The New Year's party was in full swing. Music played softly in the background and people danced as others sipped champagne and chatted.

The lights in the apartment were dim except for the light in Tera's kitchen, where she and Prudence prepared snacks for everyone. Prudence pulled mini quiches from a warm pan as Tera replaced them with uncooked ones.

"I can't believe he brought her," Prudence grumbled again.

Tera sighed. "Pru, it has been two months since you rejected him. He had to move on sometime."

Prudence watched Kyle and his date move smoothly through Tera's crowded living room, speaking briefly with people Kyle knew.

How was she going to make it to the end of the night?



~*~



Kyle glanced over at Tera and Prudence, fixing something in the kitchen. Prudence was wearing that little, black cocktail dress again. The one she looked fabulous in. He was never going to make it to the end of the night.

He looked at Karen. She looked so happy. He really liked her. She was great, and they were great together. Everybody loved her. He was trying to move on; he really was, but they had been dating almost a month, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could handle being away from Prudence.

He couldn't even keep his eyes off of her for a minute.

A soft beeping dragged his attention to the woman at his side. He hadn't even realized he was staring at Prudence again.

Karen reached between them and unclipped the beeper on her black slacks. "Damn it," she breathed. "There's an emergency at the hospital. I have to go. I am so sorry, baby."

Kyle's eyes slid from Karen to the kitchen, where Tera and Prudence watched them. He nodded at Karen, telling her it was okay, and she got her purse and her coat. He led her to the door and kissed her before she left.

That was just great. Could the night get any worse?



~*~



Could the night get any worse?

First, Kyle's date left, leaving him to spend more time with her and Tera than she could bare, and now it was nearing midnight and it seemed that she and Kyle were the only ones without someone to kiss. Great.

They stood beside Tera's kitchen, trying not to let the awkward silences get too long.

She kept her eyes on Tera, only letting her gaze slip to Kyle when she was certain his wasn't on her.

Kyle cleared his throat. "Tera, I think I'm gonna go. I don't really want to be around when everyone starts getting tipsy." He offered her a kind smile that anyone could tell was forced.

"Kyle, it's only a few minutes to midnight," Tera argued. "You can't leave now."

Kyle's eyes met Prudence's and then slid back to Tera's. "I should go."

"Look, if it's because Karen left and you don't have anyone to kiss at midnight, neither does Prudence. I'm sure she would be more than happy to oblige."

Prudence's eyes widened in shock, and she sent Tera a warning glance that she ignored, keeping her focus on Kyle. Prudence gritted her teeth. What was Tera trying to do, ruin her life?

Kyle's gaze fixed on her again. "Tera, I don't think-"

Tera cut him off. "Please, Kyle?"

He sighed. "Fine."

Oh, God. This is going to be a disaster.

As soon as she thought it, people around her began to count along with the crowd in Times Square. Prudence's skin burned as they got closer to one.

Kyle turned to her, stepping closer as Tera ran off to find her date. "We don't have to..."

Prudence kept her eyes fixed on the TV, not wanting to look at him. "It's okay."

She heard him mumbling along with the countdown. "Three, two, one."

Prudence meant for it to be a quick peck, but when his warm lips landed on hers, she couldn't seem to pull away. Before she knew was she was doing, she slid her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

And he didn't object. After a few seconds, his hands snaked around her waist, and his tongue slipped into her mouth.

Oh, my God, this is good.

Someone cleared their throat in her ear, and she jumped back from Kyle to see Tera beside her, angry.

Oh, my God. He has a girlfriend. I rejected him. What am I doing?

She looked at Kyle, whose eyes looked a little glazed over, but still full of guilt. He stared at Tera. "I should go."

Tera didn't argue this time. When Kyle was out the door, she turned to Prudence. "What are you doing?"

Prudence's blood boiled. "This is your fault. You told me to kiss him."

"I said 'kiss him,' not 'have sex with him in the middle of my party.' "

Prudence shook her head. "Whatever, Tera. I'm going home." She felt Tera watching her as she grabbed her things and headed for the door.

"Pru."

Prudence spun around to face Tera.

"Just tell him you're in love with him."

Prudence just stared at her, frozen in shock, and then she made her way home, trying to forget the feel of Kyle's lips and what Tera said.



~*~



That didn't happen. at nine that morning, she was still thinking about it after a sleepless night.

And now she knew what she would do, even though her brain told her it would only make things worse for him.

But half an hour later, after a long shower and a short drive, she still found herself knocking on Kyle's door. And when he opened it, she found herself unable to control her mouth. She didn't even notice the happiness in his eyes.

"The way I see it, even though this is probably a bad idea, there is no way I can make things worse that they already are. I feel like I have to tell you the truth. I never did. I still believe that you deserve someone who could give you everything they have, but you have to know that, to me, you are perfect, and I just didn't want to ruin that, to wreck it with the mess that I am. And I'm happy that you've moved on and found someone-"

"I broke up with Karen."

Prudence stood in silence. That wasn't the way she saw it happening in her head. She was supposed to confess her undying love, get it off her chest, and continue miserably with her life while he moved on with his life. Instead, she said, "What?"

"After the party. I told her I was in love with someone else." His face softened as he looked at her, caressed her with his eyes. "Prudence, you don't get it. I love you. I don't want to move on. I tried that, and I can't be happy with anyone else."

Prudence opened her mouth to answer, but couldn't find the words.

He smiled. "You were there last night during that kiss, weren't you? That was you kissing me, right? You felt how much I wanted you."

She said nothing.

He stepped closer. "Let me show you again."

The last kiss had been amazing, but this one- this one stole Prudence's breath and refused to give it back.

It was a kiss of promise- a promise of a future as a whole person.