Defying Fortune

Pa' Llegar A Tu Lado

((The Music))
The essence of this song is about love reunited. However, if you look at the lyrics and the way they translate, it isn't necessarily romantic. It could be taken many different directions, thousands of ways, which is why I like it so much. Lhasa's voice has such a raspy, smoky quality to it that it makes you feel like drifting in the air. At the same time, the grit of her voice keeps you grounded. She passed away of cancer earlier this year. It is sad that she has gone when there was so much she could have explored with her music. What she left behind is nothing short of amazing.

((The Life))
Today has been of slow movements and easy thinking. I've slept most of the morning away, waking intermittently with dreams and nightmares of things I still can't understand. There is a sense to all of this. I'm not what it is, but it there, somewhere.

We didn't go over to the house today. It feels so odd after being there for practically the past forty-eight. Everyone is in a state of shock. June is gone. We're not sure what to do anymore.

I kept thinking yesterday of all the things I loved about June. Her quirky antics. The way she got people to do things. The lucid moment mixed with the episodes of dementia. She was loved and is loved by many. She lived a life of service and sacrificed a great deal for what she believed was right.

I learned things about her yesterday that I had no idea about. That served only to remind me and others just how little we knew of this little woman how would have fought off an army with her cane and a cigarette dangling from her lips, her favorite holiday-themed sweaters serving as a make-shift cape of justice.

There was a spirit to June that I've rarely ever experience in people. She was fiery, and strong. To the very end she kept her faith. I would only be so lucky to become half the woman that June was. And as she said to a few months before she passed, where ever we go after this life she'll save me a spot so I better remember to bring the lighter. Like I said before, she was fiery, and I would gladly fight along side her.

I'm trying my best not to remember her the way I saw her yesterday when she left this world. We gathered yesterday, a make-shift family of women and man, and said goodbye to the glue that held us together. If anything, I don't want to remember her worn out body, or her eyes that not longer were focus, or the cold feel of her skin as I touched her hand to say farewell. I want to remember to woman always remembered my name, who handed out hats to people when she thought it was cold, and who thought all dimples where a sign of angels.

There is a part of me that knows most of it hasn't hit me yet. The only way I know to cope is to keep busy. To keep thinking of other things besides that one thing I don't want to. I want to find peace again, if only for her sake.

To Juney:
Ave atque vale