C.R.E.A.M.

The Focus Group

Its been a massively unproductive few days. I decided to blow off some steam by attending a nearby house party, followed by a whole day of training and then work in the evening again. My inability to keep a consistent level of focus on more than one facet of my life is showing, as I performed badly at training - almost a definite sign that my mind has been taken up by studies more than sport, so there is some good to come out of this. Unfortunately the balance can only meet in the middle of generic mediocrity.

I enjoy putting in a new monthly pair of contact lenses, walks become much more stimulating. Contact lenses degrade in visual quality over time, especially if you sleep in them and do everything I do in them. So when it comes to putting in a new pair, the natural landscape around me is presented in such a crisp 'High Definition' fashion, which makes the intricacies of woven tree branches and the texture of winged birds mesmerising. It brings a smile to my face. I am so lucky to be at a university overlooking an archaic city, still merging elements of the modern. This motivation to study is paying tribute to this place, the expectations of family. I have not done it justice in the last two years and now is my only chance to make it up to myself and everyone else in some way.

Investing in a good dictionary could go a long way for me. After a massive hiatus of not really reading anything, my ability to speak and convey what I want to say through words has suffered dramatically. I have lengthy sub-discussions through the various chat messengers I use online, simply because people don't know what I am trying to say, or mis-read or misinterpret something. It is extremely frustrating. I have a reputation for being extremely sarcastic and even my long time friends have trouble trying to differentiate my serious statements from my sarcastic ones. I am a big believer that the wider your knowledge of vocabulary, the easier it is to pin down your feelings and ideas and broadcast them. I have more to say on this, but for now, I am just too tired and want the weekend to be over with.

19th century literature lecture tomorrow morning, I shall not oversleep this time! 'Effective reading' workshop in the afternoon, but I may skip that to go to a careers presentation instead. Hitting the library hard at some point whatever happens, will try to take it easy for my housemates birthday party, which will include at least one nightclub and probably vicious amounts of alcohol.