Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about 5 de, the pickle, and my space.

30DBC PROMPT: "Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo, or the Day of the Dead. Research the holiday and some of the traditions. Do you celebrate it? On the topic of holiday traditions, what is the most preposterous holiday tradition you continue to celebrate? (This does not have to be restricted to Cinco de Mayo traditions.)"

What's up folks? I'm ready for the back half of today's double-dip, with a bit of a shocker...

I don't really celebrate Cinco de Mayo. I know, right? Try to keep it together here folks, for my sake.

Why? Because it closed down. http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/42/460440/restaurant/Buffalo/5-de-Mayo-Mexican-Grill... It was one of my favorite places in town to eat. It made me very sad, as someone who doesn't like to make decisions, when we drove over there for dinner one night at my behest, only to find an empty parking lot.

"Jackpot!" I thought. No waiting! And no workers either. Cuz there was no longer any business happening there. I hate it when I finally get a taste for something after not having it for awhile, and then not being able to have it when I'm good and ready to have it. The next closest similar restaurant was http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/42/461112/restaurant/Buffalo/Williamsville/La-Toltec..., which was equally as good it its own right, but it was 20 minutes in the opposite direction. And I don't like going in the opposite direction. I think I have a phobia of wasted time and steps. And, we probably would've easily passed 25 different restaurants going from our original choice to the next closest thing...including Taco Bell and Buffalo's legendary own Mighty Taco. But when you're craving real, authentic Mexican food, fast food tacos just don't really cut it.

Alas, there was to be no http://www.crownimportsllc.com/ourbrands/negramodelo.htm for me that night. If you're American, and I catch you on a Mexican island drinking a Corona, I'm gonna take your sun tan lotion, write "USA" on your chest with it, and wait for you to get robbed. Hell, I might even rob you. Why not just go into the backwoods with a Budweiser? Or Canada with a Molson or Labbatt? Be different. Be original. Be daring. Drink something with a little flavor. Not Corona.

But anyway, now that I've gone woefully off-target (and that's with trying to get you to admit I was even close in the first place), "preposterous holiday traditions", says you? Gimme a sec to think of one. I think we covered this around Christmastime actually, where any family function wasn't really a holiday or get-together until my crazy Italian grandma Rosie went off on anyone for no reason. I'm not gonna bore you with rehashing those details. Let's see...

Yeah, ok, got one. Sorta. I don't really know how much this still gets celebrated in out family anymore, cuz the kids are all grown, the parents are all split, and nobody cares anymore. But every Christmas we'd have the "Christmas Pickle". It was an ornament that looked like a little pickle, and every year it was hidden somewhere on the tree, probably on Christmas Eve. The next morning, after opening the presents, whoever found the pickle got an extra present. I don't remember what the extra present usually was...it was never anything fancy. Kinda like a token gift; something that wasn't gender- or person-specific, so any one of us could participate and not worry about what ya got if ya found it.

I know it sounds crazy silly, but trust me. Add a tiny, hidden pickle to anything you do at any time of year, and automatically, for some unknown reason, the event becomes 25% more fun.

BCF PROMPT: "Have you ever had a random encounter or fleeting moment with a stranger that stuck with you?"

Living in the heart of the "downtown" area of a small town, you see a lot of things. Add to that fact that there's a higher rate of the mentally ill walking around here than where I'm originally from, and yes, two days are very seldom alike. Although I've had plenty of encounters with the highly unstablest of Cortland's finest, I've yet to have a true encounter with a stranger who has moved me in some fashion that wasn't pure anger or agitation. And that's fine; it's probably my fault and the "don't talk to or look at me" vibe I give off. Which is for the better of everyone involved, probably.

What really bugs me though are the close-talkers. I'm fairly sure there was an episode of Seinfeld about this, but for the uninitiated, let me try to diagram this up for you as best as possible:

MY SPACE

DON'T LET THEM COINCIDE

YOUR SPACE

That means respect my boundaries. You can talk to me, but from a safe distance. If you spray it instead of saying it, I don't want your spit on me. And don't touch me, especially if I don't know you. That, I know I've had the sarcastic joy of sharing before.

There is a man who brings his adult son to the library often so the kid can use the computer while the dad reads his book. I get it. It's this part of the story that I'm ok with. And I have no problem with the kid, who has some kind of obvious handicapability.

It's the dad I can't stand. He's retired, probably in his 60's...I know someone here who used to work with him, so he's not an entirely unintelligent man. But he doesn't know his off switch, apparently. I can probably count on both hands the number of times I've seen him in action with others where I know I might've slapped the tastelessness outta his mouth had he treated me in such a way. For real. He's the kind of guy that will walk up to you while you're reading the jacket of a book or scanning the newspaper, and if you don't see him right away, will stick his hand two inches in front of your face to get your attention. Or he'll stand directly in front of you and wave, even if you don't see him, and he won't make a sound. There's generally a small time limit you're allowed to do this...but not longer than it takes for you to say, "Hey, how are you?" And when he does start talking, yes, he's uncomfortably close. He's not even talking to me, and I'm uncomfortable noticing how uncomfortable his conversation partner has to be. Thankfully, he has no reason to close-talk to me. Or far-talk. Or inside-voice. Or any voice.

And now that I've totally missed the point, I'll move on.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Oh my....I don't know if I should be offended or be pissing myself with laughter over this. Since I'm not of Mexican descent and not a fan of smelling like urine, I shall do neither. But I will rue the fact that I didn't come across this yesterday. Can any of my Spanish-speaking amigos confirm or deny that the subtitles are indeed legit? Please and thank you.

VITAL STATS:

Another space theory, if you will:

Alright, I've bothered you people enough for one day. Time to find other things in society that bother me. Peace, your SMS inbox is full, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!