Batblog

Profiles In Snark

I love snarkiness. I love experiencing the exploits of snarky fictional characters. I love hanging out with snarky people in real life. I love making my own snarky jokes whenever the opportunity presents itself in any given social situation. Snark is the glue that tries everything I am together. So, for this latest blog installment, I figured I'd pay homage to some of the snarkiest snarkers to sarcastically snark their way through some of my favourite works of fiction:

-Gonff Mousethief from the Redwall series: Might as well start with my first; the cheeky, flute-playing, pie-pinching sidekick of Martin the Warrior, whom Brian Jacques apparently based on himself. Gonff will forever be my favourite character in the Redwall series.

-Tony Stark from Iron Man: Now, I don't read superhero comics much (my comic-reading is mostly confined to the likes of Mouse Guard and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac), so I'm mostly talking about the way Mr. Stark is portrayed by Robert Downey Jr. in the Iron Man films. But, ooh boy, what a portrayal it is; the unabashed arrogance and sheer charisma radiating off this man could probably power a large country if the technology for such a thing existed. He could probably invent that technology if he wanted, too (maybe that's what the arc reactor actually runs on?).

-Tyrion Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire: Now, I don't feel comfortable calling the SOIAF series a "favourite" of mine, purely because I've only read the first two books and seen most of the first season of the show. So, while I've thoroughly enjoyed what I've gotten from it, I don't feel I have enough experience to make any judgements about the series as a whole. I do, however, feel I have enough experience to call Tyrion one of the best people ever. That scene of him slapping Joffrey alone would have been enough to make him my favourite character in the series, even without all the signature wit and guile he exhibits every other time he's on-screen.

-Lestat from The Vampire Chronicles: Ah, yes; the sexy vampire to end all sexy vampires. Literally, in fact; back in high school, one of my classmates was like "hey, you like books about vampires, right? How about this?" and handed me a certain book with an apple on the front. I read the back, went "meh," and promptly went back to reading The Vampire Chronicles instead, because I prefer my tales of immortal monsters to actually be fun, witty, and interesting.

-Ringil Eskiath from A Land Fit For Heroes: Oh dear, I think we've hit the motherload with this one. My brain literally cannot handle how awesome this sarcastic, gay, dragon-slaying BAMF actually is; it just turns to fan-girly mush every time I try to comprehend it. This isn't just my favourite snarky character. This isn't just my favourite character in his series. This isn't just my favourite character in fantasy, or in literature; Ringil Eskiath is, without a doubt, my favourite fictional character of all time.

So, there you go; those are all the jerks you get to thank for all the sarcasm I will ever attempt to write into my own stories.