My Journal #2

A unhappy person

Prompt: If you were to create a chronically unhappy character, what characteristics would you give him/her?

Where do I begin? I could name a number of unhappy people. It really starts with why and how they came to be that way. Most people are born happy. It is a God given part of our personality. When that changes its due in part to environment and genetics. More so the former than the latter.

I grew up is a happy home. I love my parents and I thought they were the most wonderful people in the world. Over the years I discovered that life has an impact on people's judgment and what they perceive to be true.
When circumstances enter our lives we have a choice of how we react. I'm not one to give in gracefully. I have a quick trigger and will spout off when I shouldn't. Somewhere my mental and vocal govenor didn't get the right stops and I've had to learn to apologize for a quick and sharp tongue. Its not that I want to be that way, it happens. Its something I need to pray more about.

What I observed in a couple of people, I know very well, is they seem to have a dark cloud over them.  When you say, "It's a lovely day." They will agree, but follow with, "I hear we are to have rain later to day." Or "There are dark clouds in the west, a storm's coming."  They have a defeatist attitude about everything.  What caused them to be this way?

1: One person I know is VERY competitive. He HAS to win at everything. In business and playing tennis. Ove the years he gave his all to perfecting his knowledge of inventory and later opened his own business. He did very well at it. He sees in others his own falicies and distrusts them. If they have any fault he will hold it against them. If a person does him wrong he retaliated, but excuses himself, or justifies his own actions in the same situation.  At an advanced age and his health is waining, he has to find a way to excuse what he can't do any more. He had a pacemaker put in and his stomach bothers him all the time. We get a litany of his ailments when we ask how he is.  I can tell he wakes each morning to find he's alive. He may or may not get dressed that day. He sits in front of the TV and watches sports and a news channel. The news depresses him and he gets tired of watching sports. At the end of the day he didn't die so he has to go to bed and hopes to sleep longer than the night before and not get up as many times. He wakes the next day to start the process all over. Nothing you say or encourage him to do will get a positive reaction.
Depression has over come his life. He sees no reason to do anything because it makes him tired. He doesn't remember that when he was younger, exercise sometimes comes with pain. It goes away. Now it's a source of conversation. No one wants him around because all he does is complain about his health and the past.

2: As a young girl this woman had some family issues with her mother. The mother was judgmental and partial to her boys. One older and one younger than this girl. The slights she received set her to be sensitive to other's remarks, even if they weren't meant to be mean. She remembers every one. All she wanted was to be a part of a loving family. To be accepted. She met a man with a number of siblings. She was happey to be part of that family, not knowing they had their own inscurities and saw her as being someone they had to put down to look better than her.  Which they did a lot after the two were married. Her husband was so used to the slights he never stood up for her against his mother or sisters. This further affected the girl.  A few years later they moved to another city and had two girls. Then the 3rd daughter was born with problems that later became serious and she died at 2 1/2 years.  Some of the women and men of their social group for whatever reason treated her with distain and said hurtful things. Her husband dealing with his own grief was unsupportive. He didn't know what to do with a wife and girls. All he wanted to do was be with the guys fishing.  The situation built to where she had a breakdown. After that her mind was in a dark place most of the time. When she was with women who were supportive she was happy, fun to be around and everyone loved her. Then the nit picking started. The constant put down of her girls. When they spoke up she sulked. She turned her cutting remarks toward her husband and at every turn blamed him for all her faults. This went on for years. Even after he passed away, she still brought up issues she feels are his fault.  When confronted with what she says, she will deny she did the things she did. She lives in a false world. Now in her mid 80's she sits in front of the TV days on end. He mind goes over all the things that were done to her and she relives them. 

To give the characteristics of an unhappy person would be to make them see life through a dark glass, always half full.
  constantly live in the past and relive it to anyone who will listen
  retalliate when confronted with their own faults or give excuses
  They see only the sad or dark things around them and seem to glory in those things that befall others, while verbally sympathizing.
  "They got what they deserved." Seems to be their mantra.
  They see every slight at being directed at them even if it was an accident or not meant the way they have taken it.
  They live life with a wall around them. It doesn't let them be hurt or allow them to reach out to others. Some will isolate themselves in their house or in a world where they don't have to interact with people other than when they have to buy groceries or necessities.
  Their eyes and mind see the pollution of the world and rarely the beauty as it affects others. They will look a beautiful sunrise or sunset and think "Its time to get to work now." or "Days over nothing can be changed so I guess I'll go to bed."
  This attitude will affect those around them in a couple of ways. Those close will do everything they can to not be like that.  If they have the same tendencies and they work hard to change them. They will walk away and not have anything to do with the person which has a negative response to that person causing them to withdraw even more.