Alamin: Desires and Redemption

Chapter 5

Scene 16
Lights up


On stage Is Mcdougall, Ruqqayya and Hakim.


Hakim( To Mcdougal): I met Tanaka a few years back. He was a good man.


Ruqqayya( To Hakim): Grieve later. The Japanese did their job and took down Greed. We need to take down whoever is running this dastardly ritual tonight.


Mcdougal( To Ruqqayya): I have a better plan lass! You going in there and killing as many as you can is jus a load of overcooked haggis, wha ye need to do is go in and look around to see if there are any leaders there.

Hakim( to Ruqqayya): We'll do as Mcdougal says then. Let's hide these machine guns and we'll only take things that are easily hidden.

Lights down

Enter Vandilo from the left with a pair Satanic clothing and pair of masks.

Enter Hakim, Ruqqayya and Mcdougal from the right.

Vandilo( To Mcdougal): Who the hell are you?

Hakim( To Vandilo): Who this strange kilt wearing man is, is of no concern of yours fortune teller. Tell me, what's going on?

Vandilo( To Hakim): They're having a ritual orgy.

Ruqqayya( To Vandilo): How many witches, warlocks, jinnis?

Vandilo( to Ruqqayya): How the hell am I supposed to know! Their hidden under these clothing and masks.

Mcdougal( to Hakim): I've seen these masks before. They're worn for the satanic songs they sing then they take it off for tha orgy.

Ruqqayya( To Hakim): This shall be a horrid night for my muslimah self. These hideous demons sicken me!

Mcdougal( to Hakim and Ruqqayya): I see the kuffar has only two pairs. Ruqqayya lass you should go home then.

Ruqqayya( to Mcdougal): I'm not going anywhere haggis muncher! ( To Vandilo) Get lost kuffar! You know where to go. If you have tricked us the info will get released and you better never see me again or I'll play some baseball with you and your head will be the ball!

Vandilo runs off-stage to the right after dropping satanic clothing.

Mcdougal( to Hakim): if yer wife ain't going home wha do we do?

Ruqqayya( To Mcdougal): I the genuis muslimah that I am have an idea.

Lights down

Scene 17

Lights up

Enter Hakim, Ruqqayya and Mcdougal from left.

Hakim and Ruqqayya wear satanic clothing and masks whilst Mcdougal is crawling on the floor.

Mcdougal(To Hakim and Ruqqayya): this is ridiculous ya lunatics! Even if we come across someone they'll know since our qareens will tell them!

Ruqqayya( to Mcdougal): stop complaining like a baby will you!

Hakim( To Mcdougal): This will work from a distance. They'll just think you're one of our slaves who've been brainwashed.

Enter Gluttony from the right.

Gluttony( to Everyone): Hello! Hello! Gluttony is hungry and looking for food! You know where I get food from?

Ruqqayya( to Gluttony): Can't help you there I'm sorry to say.

Gluttony( To Mcdougal): Good slave! I find muslim and share their flesh with you! goochie goochie goo! Whose a good slave! Whose a good slave!

Mcdougal( Pretending to enjoy the fuss to Gluttony): I am! I am a good slave!

Gluttony( to Ruqqayya): To go to the orgy you go down to corridor besides toilets. Apologies for smell for me recently had accident all over the floor. Gluttony has bad tum tum and so will now go home.

Gluttony leaves stage to the left.

Mcdougal( To Hakim): Blooming eck laddie! We jus met Gluttony!

Hakim(To Mcdougal): should we go after her?

Mcdougal( To Hakim): No, if Gluttony's here then Lust is here. That demoness is worse than poor Gluttony could ever be lad.

Ruqqayya( To Mcdougal): worse?

Mcdougal( to Ruqqayya): Aye lass. Thank the lord that Gluttony didn't recognise me. I saw her a few years back with Gwynfor. Always felt like the strange creature was a bit child-like. I feel a wee bit sorry for the lass.

Hakim( To Mcdougal): Child-like or not, she's a creation of Volpone.

Mcdougal( To Hakim): A parody and must be a part of Volpone. Allah is the only one who creates and is the origin of everything, anyway we're close to tha room so let's look around for some time longer ta see if we can find where that wretched Lust is. Thank Allah that Gluttony is messed in tha head or we’d be dead by now!

Lights down

Scene 18
Lights up

Enter Mcdougal, Hakim and Ruqqayya from left.

Ruqqayya( To both): Oh the horror! So much nudity I saw from the top floor. So hideous!

Enter Bearded Witch from right.

Witch(To Mcdougal): How's it going handsome fellow! Wha? M-my jinni tells me that your qareen says you are a muslim!

Mcdougal, Ruqqayya and Hakim attack the witch and kill her.

Mcdougal( To both): We hide her body in the closet in the next room.

Hakim( to Mcdougal): Sure.

Mcdougal and Hakim drag body off stage to left as Ruqqayya keps on the look for any satanists.

Mcdougal re-enters dressed like the witch and wearing her beard.

Mcdougal( To Ruqqayya): listen lass, from what I saw from the top they're preparing to summon Asmodeus to put some vile maghicks on that porn DVD. When the DVD is released on the market it'll make men addicted to it like heroin and then they'll be possesed by jinnis. We must kill the high priest involved and I have a damn good idea who this wee scumbag is!

Lights down

Lights up.



Scene 19

On Stage is Aleister. He wears foul satanic clothing. Enter Lust from the right.

Lust: Hey sugar! Astarte's ready and the coven is prepared. We're gonna have some fun tonight!

Aleister: Indeed my personification of sin! We will mix our sodomite and Heterosexual deviancy energies together! Sodomite and fornication as one in an item! Gerald is ready I assume so let us go!

Enter Hakim, Ruqqayya and Mcdougal in satanic disguise and carrying ceremonial satanic blades.

Lust( To the muslims in disguise): Ah! I see our three maiden, crone and masculiner symbol holders are prepared.

Aleister( to Lust): run!

The Muslims attack Aleister and Lust. Lust leaves stage battling Ruqqayya to the right.

Aleister backs away and places his hands up in defence.

Aleister( To Hakim and Mcdougal): Aha! I see! You snuck in and avoided everyone! Come get a kiss Hakim sugar!

Aleister points at Mcdougal. Mcdougal flies back off stage to the left.

Hsakim says out surah 113.

Aleister laughs in glee as blood pours out of his mouth.

Aleister: I love you Hakim! You make me all tingly matey! Come get a kiss!

Hakim: Filthy sodomite!

Aleister: More filthy for you my handsome mohammedian!

Hakim says out surah 114

Aleister shouts in pain and then attacks Hakim by physical force. They battle each other in physical combat.

Aleister is injured but defeats Hakim and Hakim is felled to the floor.

Aleister( as he kicks Hakim): Oh yeah! That's some rough play my heterosexual friend!

Re-enter Mcdougal from the left battling a bearded witch.

Mcdougal( To bearded witch): Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!
Mcdougall stabs the Witch

Witch screams and dies.

Aleister( To Mcdougal): Aha! I was curious as to what was taking you so long! Let's play a game! You surrender and I won't kill Hakim here! Tell me Scotsman. What will you do when the others find out? They'll sacrifice you to Asmodeus. It'll be a damn shame to kill Hakim so I'm sure I'll get away with making him my slave.

Hakim(To Mcdougal): Kill the sodomite, don't worry about me!

Aleister( To Hakim): well, well, aren't you heroic? ( To Mcdougal): Your choice Mohammedian.

Re-enter Ruqqayya from the right carrying a machine gun. She shoots Aleister in the back.

Aleister( To Ruqqayya): Ouch you damn backshooter!

Mcdougal attacks Aleister and stabs him in the neck.

Aleister( To Mcdougal): Now that is what's called penetration!

Aleister falls to the floor unconscious.

Ruqqayya( to Hakim and Mcdougal): I know where the dvds and weapons are! That damned Lust revealed it to me by accident. She's stuck down the elevator shaft and we can't get to her. I'll destroy the stuff and you kill the satanic congregation, I'll show you the weapons. Let's go!

Lights down.

Scene 20

Enter Ruqqayya from the left.

Smoke appears in the room.

Ruqqayya( To off stage to left): Burn you filthy dvds! Burn! Drink enough petrol from this chaste muslimah with plenty of petrol!

Enter Warlock from the right.

Warlock: What is going o-

Ruqqayya shoots the warlock and kills him.

Ruqqayya runs off-stage to the right.

Gunfire is heard.

Lights down

Lights up

On stage is Volpone with foul bearded witches, warlocks and jinnis.

Gunfire and explosions is heard.

Volpone( To everyone): We have been attacked. Aleister still has not arrived. Be alert satanists!

Enter Astarte from the left

Astarte( to Volpone): Father! The dvd room is on fire! Its chaos! These two came into the congregation room with grenades! Its a killing spree and the dvd we were going to put maghicks on is destroyed!

Volpone( To Astarte): I see! We must retreat then!

Enter Aleister

Volpone( To Aleister): What in Satan's name happened to you La Gey?

Aleister( To Volpone): I was killed. Thanks for my dark maghicks I am still alive! You retreat Volpone and I'll deal with these mohammedians!

Lights down

Scene 21

Lights up

Enter Wizard Gerald running from left.

A gun shot is heard and he drops dead onto the floor.

Ruqqayya enters from the right carrying a machin gun.

Ruqqayya: Allahu Akbar you priest of devilry!

( Hakim Off-stage to the right): Ruqqayya, It's me and Mcdougal , so don't shoot woman.

Ruqqayya( To Hakim): Okay honey.

Enter Hakim and Mcdougal from the right with weapons.

Hakim( To Ruqqayya): Their dead. We killed the whole congregation.

Mcdougal( To both): Let's get out of here!

A roaring sound is heard from the right.

They all look to the right.

Hakim( To both): What the heck is that!?

Ruqqayya(To both): I-it looks like a-

Mcdougal(To both): Werewolf! La Gey is a blooming werewolf! Run! Run!

All run off-stage to the left.

Roaring and howling is heard.

Enter Aleister from the right in werewolf form. He is hairy, has large ears and has claws.

Aleister( Shouting): I'm going to love you Hakim! werewolf style!

Aleister roars.

Lights down