Alamin: Desires and Redemption

Chapter 11

ACT 3

Scene 1

On stage is Astarte and Astaroth.

Astarte: hfufjehfueuuuudishis!

Smoke appears from the left.

Enter foul monsters.

Monsters run around.

Astarte: Donec eu!

More monsters appear.

Monsters run off-stage to the right and left.

Astaroth: your magical abilities are simply astounding girl! What is your age?

Astarte: I am twenty years of age oh great devil!

Astaroth: your maghicks are magnificent! I shall from now become your jinni! We shall make you the greatest witch of this century!

Astarte: That shall be wonderful.

Enter Asmodeus.

Asmodeus( To Astarte): We shall become a trinity and cleanse this world of Mohammedians!

Astarte( To Asmodeus): Indeed you supreme master of fornication!

Lights down.


Lights up

On stage is Astarte dancing around. Aamil has been untied.

Astarte: Oh darling! I just returned from the meeting with Astaroth at his temple and I have been gifted with greater magics! Oh I cannot wait to use it!

Astarte has a knife fall out of her pocket.

Aamil punches Astarte across the face and grabs the knife then stabs her in the chest. He then runs off-stage to the right.

Astarte: hfduhdkvhdkfj!

Aamil returns from the right.

Aamil: damn you kuffar! Put your magic off me now!

Astarte: I love that! Oh yeah! i was expecting you to do something exciting! Oh how sweet!

Astarte pulls out the knife.

Astarte: do you want to lick my blood honey bunny!?

Aamil: disgusting monster!

Astarte: Oh yeah! Call me names like that! Spit at me! Come on!

Aamil: Let me free if you love me!

Astarte: But you'll run away if I free you! I cannot have you run off to see some other girl now can I? Now since you've been a very bad Mohammedian I'm locking you up tonight. I just had news from father that things are very busy right now so I shall be busy. Now if you behave like a good mohammedian when i come back i'll let you roam about and go on a date with me!

Lights down.

Scene 2

Lights up

On stage is Volpone and Aleister . Volpone is enraged.

Volpone( Shouting to Aleister): How can that whorish harlot leave us! How dare she disobey my orders!

Aleister( to Volpone): Listen sista, this didn't really come as a shock considering she disappeared for half a year a few years back.

Volpone: She was in need of an holiday! In all of the centuries we have worked together she has never left to seek protection from the Mohammedian excrement! My rage must be fed! Oh Lust your betrayal will be fed to my rage like furies upon a transgressor in a greek mythic tale! I shall be avenged!

Aleister: The fact that she did it in that town implies that she knew Muslims would be there. She may have been planning to defect for a while. What did you expect? You've been treating her like dirt for years now.

Volpone: You dare blame me sodomite!?

Aleister: Yes.

Volpone grabs Aleister around the neck.

Volpone: I could take your foul life within a second La Gey!

Aleister: If you wish to try making me squeal like a pig go for it handsome vampire but just remember that I may not be able to kill you but I may be able to control you!

Aleister places his hands on Volpone's arm.

Volpone: what is this!?

Foul screams are heard.

Volpone: What is this terrifying force I feel!? What are you doing La Gey!

Volpone drops to the floor in agony.

Aleister: Ten years ago you would have been able to kill I with no hesitation but with Hecate leaving you, you have lost great powers. The only thing keeping you alive currently is the three sin monsters and two have defected. You better move fast you sexy nosferatu or you are at real risk of dying!

Aleister laughs mockingly and leaves stage to the right.

Volpone looks worried.

Volpone( To himself): i must capture Lust and Gluttony!

Lights down

Scene 3

On stage is Lust and Gluttony.

Lust is wearing a hijab.

Enter Ruqqayya from the right.

Ruqqayya( To Lust): Salam Alaykum. Let's go and meet with sheik Wallace then.

Lust( To Ruqqayya): Okay. ( To Gluttony): Come on Gluttony.

Lights down

Lights up.

On stage is a table. At the table is Wallace sitting on a seat

Enter Lust and Ruqqayya from the right. Lust sits at a seat.

Wallace( To Lust): Salam alaykum.

Lust( To Wallace): Wa alaykum assalam

Wallace: Your information young lady has been proven to be highly valuable. We have made headway and taken down ten covens within this month since you gave us the information.

Lust: That is good.

Wallace: there is a problem that has appeared.

Lust: What is the problem? Did I make a mistake?

Wallace: No, you are not the problem. The problem is that certain Muslims are uncomfortable with the fact that you and Gluttony are still alive. They are saying that killing you makes it more possible to kill Volpone. Is that true?

Lust: Yes. If Gluttony, Wrath and I die, Volpone will be weak and will be able to die and unable to regenerate. He is already weakened due to Hecate leaving him.

Wallace: Yes, that is highly interesting. Why did she leave?

Lust: Hecate thought Volpone loved her but she realized a few years ago that the only love Volpone has in him is towards power and killing Muslims.

Ruqqayya( To Lust): I won't let anyone kill you! You've proven that you really want to change so even if we cannot kill Volpone without killing you I will not allow it and I'll protect you!

Lust( To Ruqqayya): But I stole your ancestors recipes.

Ruqqayya: When you decide to convert to Islam your sins will be forgiven.

Lust( To Wallace): Volpone must sleep for years at a time to regenerate his magical powers but since Hecate left he has been sleeping more and more at a time. He has one year I would estimate before he slumbers again.

Wallace( To Lust): Do you remember who you were before you were connected to Volpone?

Lust: No. I do not remember anything. I just remember Hecate and Abaddon awakening me to go and meet Volpone.

Ruqqayya( To Lust): Even if you do not remember, you are now going to the straight path so you are on the right track.

Lust( To Ruqqayya): I will convert, something is stopping me at the moment. I suppose you could say it is hesitation.

Ruqqayya: Don't hesitate too much.

Lights down.

Lights up.

Scene 4

On stage is Astarte, Wrath and Aamil. Aamil wears a dog collar around his neck.

Wrath( To Astarte): I want to kill muslims! I want to eat Hakim's head off!

Astarte( to Wrath): You know why you cannot go out! It is too risky! Behave will you! Why can't you be more like Aamil!?

Wrath( To Astarte): I don't trust him! ( To Aamil) I'm keeping my eye on you Mohammedian!

Aamil( to Wrath): and I'm keeping an eye on you monster!

Wrath: You want some punk! Feeling lucky are we huh!

Aamil: Bring it on you angry fool!

Astarte( To both): Behave you two. ( To Wrath) Now shoo! I want some time alone with my boyfriend!

Wrath leaves stage to left grumbling angrily.

Astarte skips around Aamil

Astarte: You are so well behaved!

Aamil: Yes Astarte, in our time together I've fallen for you.

Astarte: Oh how sweet! Is that why you kiss my feet so joyfully!?

Aamil: Oh yes indeed. I'll kiss your feet as much as I can.

Astarte: Oh how lovely! Since you've given me information on where Muslims hide I'll reward you with my body now!

Astarte( Lustfully) : Come here you mighty Mohammedian! My devilish bosoms is in need of touching from your hands!

Aamil: Touch your bosoms I will do full of joy!

Lights down

Scene 5

Lights up

On stage is Volpone. He is battling a Muslim. The Muslim stabs him with a sword.

Volpone( To Muslim): Ouch! Thou Mohammedian is in need of a broken neck!

Volpone punches the Muslim in the neck and kills him.

Volpone: Beware oh Muslims I shall feast on your flesh for supper and chew on your liver for dessert!

Enter Monster

Monster: Your highness, Gluttony and Lust are not here!

Volpone: Damn those Mohammedians! May the devils curse their wretched hides! Like a mighty phoenix I shall retrieve Gluttony and Lust then re-gain my previous powers!

Monster: May I ask your highness as to why Lust and Gluttony are still live?

Volpone: Lust asked for protection and the sheik Wallace granted it. They are not about to break their protections or they shall not be able to receive anymore defectors! I must state that I was quite hesitant in allowing my vampiric daughter to receive that Aamil but his information has been magnificent!

Lights down

Scene 6

Lights up.

On stage is Max and Hakim.

Max: Ok, the bombs are in place so we ready dude?

Hakim: We are. Let's begin our attack and kill Wrath!

Max: Okay let's do this.

Lights down

Lights up

On stage is Aleister La Gey and Wrath.

Wrath: I don't trust that damned boyfriend of Astarte!

Aleister: My boy, my enraged comrade in being devilish, boyfriend is the last word I would fathom to use when it concerns poor Aamil being Astarte's favorite sex toy.

Wrath: Glorified dildo or not! He is a dildo that could kill us all!

Aleister: That is the most beautiful comment I have ever heard you say. Now this phallic imagery you have chosen to choose I must say has been useful to our cause. He seems to have Stockholm syndrome.

Wrath: Stockholm syndrome!? What is that!?

Aleister: You should read some more boy.

Wrath: I don't like reading! They make me angry!

Aleister: What doesn't make you angry?

Wrath: Maiming and taking the lives of Mohammedian scum!

Aleister: How unhealthy. Have you ever thought of having a woman?

Wrath: Women are annoying! They obsess about cleaning and nagging!

Aleister: True that.

An explosion is heard, gunfire is heard.

Aleister: What the heck!?

Wrath: Action for a change!

Wrath runs off-stage to the right.

Aleister: Come back here you foolish ape!

Aleister run off-stage to the right.

Lights down

Scene 7

Lights up

Enter James and Malcolm.They both have guns and knives. They are battling a vampire.

Vampire( To James and Malcolm): I'll suck your blood punks!

James( To Vampire): Suck on this bloodsucker!

James shoots vampire in the head.

Malcolm stabs the vampire in the chest and pulls out its heart.

Malcom: Okay, the vamp has been dealt with!

Enter Wrath. Wrath kills them both.

Wrath: Muslims to kill! such joy for I! yee haa you Mohammedian slugs!

Enter more Muslims.

Wrath kills them as well.

Enter Aleister.

Aleister: My arse is on fire with passion!

Wrath: Where are there more Mohammedians!? I need them!

Enter Hakim and Max.

Hakim looks shocked at Aleister.

Hakim ( To Aleister) That is why Gwynfor's body was stolen you damned jinni!

Aleister( To Hakim): I am no Jinni, now come here and give me a kiss, I am in the mood for ultra-violent flirting with you my handsome Mohammedian!

Lights down