Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about surprises, surplus cash, and servants.

"What are your thoughts on surprise parties? I’m in the process of planning two – yes, two. One is a baby shower and one is a 40th birthday bash. Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you? Do you even like surprises? Have you ever had to throw a surprise party?" (Courtesy of Julie D - PUBLISHED! .)

What's up y'all? It's too bad I've put off writing this entry for as long as I have today, because (at least most of it) came to me almost as soon as I read the prompts last night. I have a bit of a good excuse though...I spent too much time this afternoon looking for an old blog entry I swear I've written at some point over the years, but regardless of the keywords I've used in the entry search bar, nothing's come up so far. I haven't exhausted all my options, but I have exhausted myself in the process.

Anyway, let's see...how do I wanna get at this prompt? My thoughts generally regarding surprise parties...are pretty much whatever. If I'm invited to one, that's cool. I'll go along with it, and I don't spill secrets like that about 'em. I can play dumb, or any kind of role necessary so as not to give away anything. Have I had to lie before in order to pull off the charade and keep the surprisee in the dark? Well, let's just say truths have been compromised and mangled, and I've paid for it with playful punches to the arm afterward ("But you said...!", followed by me lying again when I said the punch didn't hurt ).

As for having parties thrown for me, I'm not a fan but that's because I don't get too excitable about people making a big deal over me. I'm not crazy about the attention. And surprises in general are always tricky to navigate once more than a few people are involved. My dad and stepmom tried to throw me a surprise 21st birthday party, and went so far as to call my boss well in advance to see if he'd give me the day off after explaining the situation. And my boss was a really cool guy, but for some reason he was a complete dick to my folks about it, and that pretty much put the kibosh on the "surprise" aspect of the festivities. It worked out so that the party itself didn't need to be cancelled or rescheduled or anything, but that's not the point.

Have I ever had to throw one? Sorta. My ex's 40th. Her sister asked me what I thought we should do, and I suggested the surprise. She went along and hosted it, and her husband grilled, and it was a huge success. I brought food, drinks and snacks, helped with the theme, guest list and decorating, and pulled off the hard work...the actual "gotchya". My ex was working down the road for her sister's house, so I got everyone in attendance (maybe 30 people?) into the garage and put the garage door opener in my pocket. As we returned and made it up the driveway I stealthily opened the garage door, everyone yelled "Surprise!" and it truly caught her off guard. It was awesome.

What wasn't awesome was that her folks down in Florida gave her sister all the credit and didn't seem to give a rat's ass that I had anything to do with it. Not gonna lie; that really hurt and kinda pissed me off...especially the next time they came up to visit and her mom said to me "Wow, [ex's sister] really did a great job with the party, didn't she?" Yeah, we did a fantastic job. I wasn't shy about that.

I think in this day and age, with all the conveniences we have at our disposal, some aspects of party planning are easier and some are harder. You can invite people via Facebook, but hope no one spills secrets in the run-up. The way we share information now means you can tell everyone immediately...and the bigger the chance there is of something going wrong. Back in the day, the biggest concern was that people would forget something or invites would be lost in the mail...now it's hoping you can trust the loudmouth coworker friend not to burst with the details. Execution is still the most critical part of the whole scheme though...as long as that gets pulled off smoothly and the person doesn't suspect a thing, you could serve canned peas and lemon jello and the surprisee will still be floating on air all night. And in the end, that's all that matters.

"The Lottery Ticket...Anton Chekhov wrote the most evocative short story about winning the lottery. His take about human nature was fascinating. I highly recommend reading this great story. Take me on your adventure with newfound money...what would you do if you were suddenly rich?"

I don't believe I've ever read this story...and if I have I don't remember it. I know I've read The Lottery by Shirley Jackson, but I don't think that's the same thing even if I don't remember exactly how that story went either.

But yo, c'mon...we've all played that kids' game before of "What Would You Do If You Won A Million Dollars" or whatever variation you picked. You'd guess average values of shit based partially also on what you'd be willing to spend, and see how much money you'd have left over or how much more you'd need based on your ridiculousness, and you know when you're kids no one thinks about taxes or insurance or anything like that, along with typically grossly underestimating the price of a car or a house or a leopard-skin pillbox hat  . Kids are geniuses and all, but they're usually lousy financial advisors.

Anyway, if I'm being honest, nothing would change too dramatically for me right off the bat if I became suddenly rich. I'd have to wait first and make sure everything's legit...see that the check clears, hope no mobsters show up on the scene, you know. All the stuff in movies that goes wrong for you once you get stupid rich suddenly. No immediate lavish parties, no purchases I'd regret as soon as the return policy expires, and no fur coats or expensive jeans my ass would probably outgrow...because one thing I'd do is start eating out a little more, and you know that ain't the healthiest of options.

I would buy a lot of stupid little shit though (and I know...that's what really kills ya when you've got extra spending money)...I'd make sure I was stocked up on essentials like toiletries and peanut butter cups. I'd have an extra pack of smokes nearby so I wouldn't have to worry about goin' out to get more whenever I run out. And I might splurge on all those albums that've come out recently that I said I couldn't wait to get but had to wait 'cuz I'm poor.

But I wouldn't go crazy, because I wouldn't want to see my hard-earned lottery winnings go away...at least not until I knew my taxes were paid and I squirrelled enough away to make sure I'd be financially stable for the next long while.

And I can say all that, because I think you and I both know I won't be coming into a fortune like that anytime soon.

"The Soundtrack of Your Life" 

It's kinda ironic that today's BCF prompt covers instant fortune. I think we all know the fastest way to the riches besides the lottery is fame, and if there was one person who wasn't equipped with the ability to manage his success it was Kurt Cobain. He would've turned 48 today had his demons (I hate when people use that word in such a manner, but that wont stop me here) and whatnot failed to catch up with him.

I've been a Nirvana fan longer than I've been an adult, which isn't saying much the older I get, but with a lot of bands and artists on my playlist this month, they came along and hit me while I was on that bridge between youth and adulthood. I remember the explosion into fame, the coping with success, the questions and the new sets of struggles that came with it. I could be talking about Nirvana, or I could be talking about anyone who was having a hard time adjusting to life and all of its changes between the ages of 18 and 24.

And that's where I was the day he was found dead...18; unsure of how things were gonna play out for me but thinking I was in a pretty good spot as far as the adulthood transition was going. I still remember the moment, like many remember JFK or John Lennon. I just went up to my room, closed the door, threw on the last studio recording of his (at the time), and I went through all the emotions that came with it once more.

The very first song on In Utero is "Serve The Servants", and that could very well have been about my own complicated relationship not only with both my parents, but with who I was growing up and into as a person. I never thought I was popular or that many people truly liked me for who I was, but I was shedding my high school skin as well and it seemed like that was a good thing. What I wasn't ready for though was the shifting of responsibilities and the feelings that could come with people actually paying attention to me and taking an interest in what I was doing as opposed to just seeing me around because they had no other choice. It was liberating, but at what price to my privacy and innocence? It's a fine line to walk, between being a loser nobody and being someone people began to respect. I may not have initially handled it well, and in the long run I know it looks like at times I haven't, but I can at least say I survived it.

"Teenage angst has paid off well;
now I'm bored and old."
Lyrics.  

I follow a lot of music websites on Facebook, so naturally there were a bunch of different posts relating to Kurt Cobain's birthday...I didn't read them all; most were just articles being rerun from past magazine issues (except the bizarre story about one of his old credit cards going up for auction, which...I don't care how much money I had or what kind of crazy completeist-fan fetish I might have, who needs that?). I did find this story  , which originally ran on the tenth anniversary of his death, to be somewhat meaningful when trying to reconcile his rise and success with his suicide.

Switching subjects, I had no idea that last night was the final episode of the CBS sitcom Two And A Half Men. Not that it mattered to me; I never watched it regularly and hadn't even seen an episode with Ashton Kutcher after he replaced Charlie Sheen, so it wasn't a big deal. The only time there was ever any debate about its presence in my life was when I first started dating my ex...she would watch reruns on one channel at 7:30pm, and I used to watch Family Guy reruns (until I started spending more time at her place) at the same time. It became this big discussion over what was funnier, and what was appropriate for her teenage boys to watch...TAAHM was somehow ok, but FG wasn't, even though both were filled with fart jokes and sexual innuendo and really the biggest difference between the two shows was the cartoon featuring the traditional family and the television show with live actors wasn't traditional in any sense. Anyway, long story not-so-long, I eventually won that battle and Family Guy was watched in our house with more regularity because it was funnier. And how do I know that? Because if you've never watched Two And A Half Men at all, ever in your life, this is all you need to know   from having watched the last episode.

And finally, tomorrow night is the Pre-Quill Awards Gala Event, which, if it's anything like it was last year, should not be missed. No guarantees on the odds of me behaving myself.

And that's where I'm gonna close the curtains on tonight's entry. Peace, I just want you to know, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!