Cabin Fever

Manufactured White

11-22-04

This wasn't exactly a lifetime in the making
or a lifestyle in process of change
for the sake of change.
Exposed is all I know to fear;
exposure is what I fear to reach
when I've been the one who's been reached out to
and exposed for all to exploit.
The good-time good-guy I am
vs.
the ungrateful son of a bitch I am,
going 12 rounds daily;
a constant rematch
of mind against matter.
Do I pour my soul
or sell my pure?
I was given enough tools
but no instructions
and a bunch of beat-up, broken stuff.
Somewhere, I fixed something
somehow,
and now everyone wants to know how
but without having to spend determination
like I did,
and I can't offer my secrets,
even if I knew them.
When the final attempt is taken,
and failure's within sight,
my phone rings off the hook
in search of the answers.
When I begin to speak
the eyes between the listening ears gloss over.
You didn't want to know how, just how.
This is my heart,
but you're bored.