Can we talk?

Tea Parties

         I grew up when afternoon teas were still acceptable. Women wore pretty dresses, hats, and white gloves and would show up for tea. There's a lot of formality involved. It does feel a little like children playing make believe, but maybe that's why it fascinated me so much. I've always wanted to have a tea party, but it takes more than one person present who knows how such a party works.

         Tea is the first ingredient. These days we like choices, so having more than one variety is essential. Bags are convenient; no strainers are necessary. You don't need silver service. There are pretty little ceramic pots. Cups and saucers instead of mugs are a must. Your best spoons, stainless or silver, will do, but no plastic. In addition to sugar, lumps or loose, you need artificial sweetener. Lemon wedges on a pretty little plate, and milk in a cream pot, complete the tea part.

         Real linens are required. A cloth tablecloth with no plastic cover must cover the table. If it's a large group, you can get away with paper cocktail napkins, but cloth is better. The American version of the menu will allow any small or dainty finger foods, nothing messy or dripping. Little sandwiches without crusts, for example, are satisfactory. No chips and dip. The menu can be simple and short, preferably homemade or from the bakery.

         In movies or on TV, I've always seen the hostess "pour" or serve. But the etiquette books (yes, some of us still defer to the experts) suggest that a friend actually pour the tea for each guest, once the hostess has brought it to the table.

         By the way, the tea pot should be rinsed with boiling water just before putting in the tea bags with hot water. Or if you're serving tea bags, cups should be warmed the same way. The tea bag soaks only long enough to make it the desired strength and is then placed in a bowl or other holder. Do not use it a second time if you like good tea.

         An RN friend of mine, when I lived in another county, and I talked about staging a big tea party for a women's community meeting and discussion group, but we never got our guest speakers lined up. We were both busy and let it drop. I could also see doing it as a fund raiser. A little nostalgia, and an air of make believe.

         On the other hand, our world may be just a little too casual, too paper cup and plastic spoon oriented to pull it off. We'd show up in jeans and boots and would look for the taco dip. Who cares if you blow on your coffee or put your napkin in your lap? Those traditions will pass with our memories.