Wondering about my Wanderings

Pondering

I ponder what my words will be. In a silly way I say I am one who ponds or at least I seek out lurks in such a place. I am learning that my value transcends what I even think about myself. I began the day looking forward to some time with my boys playing Frisbee golf. It sounded like a lot of fun. We made the plan as a cook out that included the families of my sons and me. It is the first time I have been invited to an event without my ex-spouse in attendance. It was a strange feeling. It was as if God was trying to tell me something.
After all is said and done, I wish that I could invite my sons to cook outs at my place. I doubt that will ever happen. Sharon does not like a lot of people. It tends to be very unsettling to her. She opted out of this gathering, siting first of all the heat and later the grief she was feeling about a client of hers who died. There are honestly times I wonder why I married Sharon. I love an opportunity to be with others I care about she is content to be alone with her pets. It does keep me getting burned out and I her to thank for that.
I leave this blog entry glad that the time was spent and maybe it can and will happen again. I think much of it has to do with my attitude. I could not wait to play games with my sons. The only thing that got in the way was the rain the next morning. I love the essence of my faith because it says that I will rise from sleep to be with them in one form or another. Now if I can only find more concrete ways to connect with my daughter. ONE DAY AT A TIME!