Wondering about my Wanderings

Now I lay me down to sleep

I look back on the prayer of my childhood as a security blanket for uncertain days ahead.

My two year old grandson made it through tonsil surgery. I can recall my training as chaplain. There were times that being a chaplain was my role in the family. That has changed pretty drastically since my divorce. I am learning that a lot of roles that I have taken on do not fit very well. I enjoy being there for persons and yet I can get overwhelmed and sick because of the likelihood of burn out. I do not literally know when to quit caring. It is an obsession.

I love the idea of being a pastor, not so much preacher and yet I am learning that as I grow older I do not like playing church. It seems to revolve around the politics of being a good talker and being a good old boy. My theology is too liberal for most people and too pious and conservative for others. I can recall talking with a youth who was bitter with church. The preacher turned him off with hateful verbiage about gays. Weren't Christians supposed to love others? I harp about the fact that relationship is the barometer of what makes us more or less connected with God. If we can not get along with others, how do we expect to get along with God. All of a sudden all the sermons about heaven and hell dissolve into the reality of showing others that they are valuable to God. I would rather go to hell than see another go there. How is that for the statement of faith of a Baptist preacher.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to take. God bless.............you

amen