Thoughts of a Mad Man

Humility

Humility.





There are parts of it that I believe in, and others that I forsake. In particular, I tend toward the vices of humility.





In particular I have often found myself eager to search for signs of wrongness and weakness in myself. I thought this would make me wiser and better. I let it get to the point that I could no longer tolerate any actual criticism for I was full-up from that which I had foolishly absorbed though it was meant for others. In turn, this has created a rift between me and people that have to deal with me.





Another error I have made, a failing brought on by humility is the inability to take compliments, to enjoy the fact that people think I'm wonderful or at least good, honest and true. This is a rude thing, and for that, if you know and have experienced this, I apologize.





The truth is that neither pride nor humility are good, but merely sides of the same coin, with similar errors. In either case, they can be valuable, or they can be harmful. And in either case, the error is to be too self-important. It doesn't matter whether I am intrinsically good or bad. Other things really make the difference. My choices are what really count in life, not some birthright or natural talent.





Now if I could only translate this into some kind of life-attitude!