Perpetual Ruminations

Tuesday

Up around seven thirty this morning and feeling pretty good. I got a fair night of sleep Saturday night, with the aid of a generic brand of Benadryl. Since I sometimes have difficulty sleeping, I talked to my doctor about taking something to help me get to sleep. I had a cold at the time, and was using Tylenol PM and it not only helped with the symptoms but helped me get to sleep, too. Instead of prescribing something she informed me that the active ingredient in Benadryl is the same thing used in Tylenol PM. Since I only needed something once in a while, just take Benadryl.

The only problem is, I tend to wake up after four or five hours and sometimes cannot get back to sleep. So, next Monday I will be going back in to talk to her about trying something else, that will work longer. It was some years ago that I was told about Benadryl, and it helped a lot. Now, however, since my surgery, it seems I have even more trouble sleeping. I'll doze right off, in minutes, but also wake in just minutes, too. I'll be awake for an hour, maybe two, then doze off and wake. This repeats through the night. The following day, I'm so tired I can't think straight, but once I get to bed, it starts all over.

Whereas in the past, I slept pretty good most nights and had the occasional sleeplessness, now it seems I have insomnia most nights with the occasional sleep filled night. I don't know what changed, and that's why I want to talk to the doctor. Well and to get something to knock me out.

After I had my medical problems flare this summer, the pain often woke me. Then it was medical tests and no answers, which also kept me from sleeping at night. More tests and more good news over the summer and into the fall, but no answers to what was wrong. I tend to have some anxiety issues anyway, but usually can manage them just fine. But, in the dark of night, when sleep shuts down the conscious mind, they flare and wake me, usually with a lot of sweating, rapid heart rate, and of course, continued anxiety. It takes a bit to get things back into perspective, then calm enough to sleep again, only to wake to another anxiety attack.

Then, we found answers, we scheduled surgery, and the worst of the ordeal was about over. Sure, there was some anxiety over the surgery, but most of all, I was eager to get it over with and end the problems. Still, it was enough to keep me from sleeping much up to the actual day of surgery. The night before I barely slept at all. Then I was in the surgical center, the procedure was done and I was in recovery, everything went well, and I would be heading home later that morning or afternoon at the latest. I needed to be able to eat and keep food down, drink water, and have it pass through my system, and of course, have the incision sites checked over and over, along with my vital signs.

I was pretty sore, but considering everything involved, felt better than I had expected. The medical team was great, the nurses awesome, and soon Rhonda was driving me home and putting me down in my own bed. They didn't know if I would be able to sleep in a regular bed for the first few days, but I did pretty good. Moving was the worst, but I managed pretty well, and of course, Rhonda was there to help. We had arranged for the worst, just in case we couldn't share the bed, but she was great at not bumping or nudging in her sleep, and we did fine. Of course, I was taking a lot of pain medications, and sleeping about twelve hours a night.

Within a few days I had tapered off the medications, only using half the dose at night unless the pain was bothering, then it was a full dose. But, unlike the first few days when I would sleep twelve hours through the night, maybe waking once to use the bathroom, I wasn't sleeping hardly at all. At first I thought it was because I had been sleeping so much, but it has not changed, unless it has gotten a bit worse; it's difficult to tell.

Last night I took a medication I was on some years ago. It was to help ease anxiety attacks, and was taken as needed. After a while, I managed to gain more and more control over the anxiety and eventually wasn't taking them anymore. In fact, even when it was at it's worst, I seldom needed them, except at night to get to sleep. I had forgotten about them until I was cleaning out the medication container yesterday and throwing out a bunch of medications I no longer need after the surgery. I decided I'd try the medication again, since it was prescribed to be taken as needed for anxiety and difficulty sleeping. I felt nice and relaxed, and fell asleep very quickly last night.

But, I still woke up throughout the night. It was nice to be able to fall back to sleep quickly, but I still had about four or five times of waking up, going to the bathroom, and then back to bed. I feel pretty good, but not like a person should after a good night sleep. In fact, I'm not sure how that would feel any more. tonight I will make sure I'm not drinking anything much at all before bed, I'm sure the late evening coffee had a lot to do with my waking through the night. Then we will see how things are tonight, when I go to bed. If needed, I'll try this medication again and hopefully get better results. I just don't remember how well it worked in the past, but it's worth a try. At least until I talk to the doctor on Monday.