Witness to Withness

Sun House

Out of darkness I enter light
I know all to well the darkening fog
I long for the sun and warmth
Maybe in time I can discover what it means
To be a son of God

In the journey of life I continue to seek what it means to be a light. I am discovering that only as I know how to receive the light can I be a light to others. I had been taught about the evil of being selfish, Only as I valued my self could I value the self. This was new truth, a truth that would keep me alive.

         The first place of entry into the realm of discovering the gift of friendship was Sun House. The sign on the wall said family is where the heart is. That was pretty broad based. I found myself wondering if I even knew what family was. I entered the doors and entered into a mystery. I was in the midst of discovering that even if I had a mental illness that did not mean that I could not discover in greater depth the art of friendship. I was alone and desperate. I had seen in the mental health setting what could happen if you trusted the wrong people. What an a propos name for my new place of discovery: Sun House.
         I walked in cautious. It was called a three-quarter way house. I wondered whether I had won the lottery. Richard and I were the few chosen from Taunton. There were five or six other residents along with a couple managers. I would be challenged to be accountable and I was faced with whether I wanted to dwell in pity or take a chance on getting my life together.
         This place was different than the home I grew up in. I had to do chores, look for a job/go to the day program and learn skills for work, prepare meals and get along with others. This was going to be a challenge for someone/me to rethink what it meant to be a person in progress. In my family of origin, I could do just about anything I wanted. I was a resident at the home and was treated well as long as I fit into expectations. I could no longer be satisfied with just existing. I had a chance to rise from the dead and in my own mind maybe at some point reconnect with family