The New and Improved Cynical Idealist

Really Frozen???

In the beginning, someone decided to give me the ability to overthink everything.



Well, if you're reading this that means that you've got nothing else better to do than listen to me... well read my rambling and venting, and I must say that I pity you.

Trust me, you should stop reading this now... No? Suit yourself.

Well, first I have to warn you all, I'm a novice at blogging. This here is my very first blog, and this is its very first entry so as the virgin may say to the experienced, be gentle with me.

Ok, if that hasn't gotten you to turn away then you are probably a bit like me; an overworked, yet enthusiastic adult. You likely have a child or children, and if you don't that is fine. For those of you who aren't parents, well, I can tell you it is an experience more rewarding and frustrating than anything else in the world. Truly, it is a rollercoaster of emotions, good mornings, bad mornings, arguments, and above all else... repetition.

When I say repetition I don't mean to sound as though it's routine. Trust me, there's nothing routine about a two year old girl. On the contrary, everyday gives new challenges, but there's still repetition, and well... I guess there's some routine.

Now before I get too deep into this rant, please allow me a moment of history. I'm a thirty year old who decided to have children in my late twenties. We're currently expecting another in April of next year, and during this emotional time that is her pregnancy, I work a lot more than most people should. When I say a lot more I mean to say, I work 180 hours every two weeks. Yes... 180 hours. You may ask how that is even humanly possible, and all I can say is Maxwell House gets a lot of business from my coworkers and I.

We are utility workers who spend our days crawling into dark holes and working around mud, water, dead fish, and a very long list of other terrible, disgusting things that you'd just have to see to believe. Our lives are spent in Pressure Vessels inside of the world's power plants, and those power plants require our services 365 days a year. As such, we spend a lot of our days away from home, out of town, out of state, and out of the country on many occasions.

You might imagine that this is pretty difficult on my lovely lady at home and you would be right. Honestly, I don't know how she gets on without me some times, but she does. When I come home, however, I get right back into the rhythm of cooking dinners and filling sippy cups.

It just so happens that I arrived back home last night from a 48 day haul between Enrico Fermi 2 in Detroit, and Three Mile Island in Harrisburg. Before I came through the door, I took a trip to Walmart to pick up a birthday present for the wonderful mother of my child.
We happen to share a birthday and unfortunately I was away for the first time in five years. I decided to surprise her by not telling her I was coming home. Now I know where you think this could lead but don't worry, you won't find us on the next episode of "Cheaters."

I came through the door, a box of Megablocks in one arm, and a Diamond necklace in the other. A familiar tune chimed along as I snuck in; Let it Go, from that awful movie, Frozen.

Now, before all of you get upset with me calling this movie "awful," keep in mind I have a two year old daughter. Frozen is my bane, my kryptonite, my evil hellspawn, and the totality of day to day life at home.

I honestly find myself wishing that I had a share of stock in this brand, as everything we have is Elsa, Anna, and Olaf. I am surrounded by these two princesses and this one snowman. I often times feel myself thinking these toys are going to come to life and kill me like that scene in Tommyknockers. Thankfully, we live in reality, but there's just too many nowadays, and the misery starts the moment I wake up.

The first thing my daughter and I do is our daily brushing of teeth, eating of breakfast, followed with a rigorous cleaning of everything she may have spat out or dropped on the floor. At the conclusion of this little morning ritual, I get that terrible, awful, broken record of a demand, "I want to watch Fwozen."

It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up like I was electrocuted, but I submit everytime, if anything because the way she says it is adorable. There's also that possibility that she will spend the next thirty minutes repeating herself, while occasionally shouting, "I told you!"

Now after so much repetition, I cannot keep going, so I let her have her way. To be honest, she doesn't even watch the movie. Generally she will run about the living room, toting an Elsa doll or a bag of megablocks screaming a phrase here or a verse there, but generally it is just, "Do you wanna build a snowman?"

I almost wrote a response to this song entitled: "NO I DON'T WANT TO BUILD A FRICKIN SNOWMAN!"

An hour or so into the cheerful exclamations of a two year old girl I will generally be requested for a sippy. This is no simple task, as my kid is difficult. We have an array of sippy cups all bearing the heads of Elsa, Anna, and Olaf, and all with Grape, Orange, and Apple juice.

Generally I just grab one and hand it to her, but that never works. She will stand there, looking at me like I'm the kid and point at the "Odder one." She never wants my first choice.

As such, it's generally Olaf and one or two sips in, after I've closed the refrigerator, I get the request for the previously established sippy cup; my first choice. Now most parents would say I let my kid walk on me but that isn't the case. We have rules and she follows them to the letter. I am simply a sucker for a little girl's demands because they're either hilariously cute, or strikingly evil. Both of these qualities appeal to me, so in this world of Disney's worst invention, she gets her way.

All of this has led me to realize one thing - kids this age never grow tired of something. I can watch Frozen maybe once, maybe twice before I'm over it in its entirety. Not her... no.

My first time watching it, I thought to myself, yeah this is a good Disney movie. Two hours later I was thinking I could do without so much singing. Six hours later I can say with a straight face I hate snowmen, and eight hours later I realize to myself that winter is coming... Oh the Starks are always right.

Winter is coming, and that means Christmas is coming, and that means going to the store. I'm not much for going out, especially during the holidays. I've always been a kind of indoor person, but I travel for a living... I get out enough. Going to the store with a two year old is an ordeal in and of itself. The supermarket is one thing, as I have no trouble avoiding the cereal aisle, unless I'm out of Shredded Wheat, which leads to buying a box of that and a seven dollar box of 'Frozen' cereal. Really... seven dollars?! The box isn't even that big! We can afford it though, so hey if she eats it, that's good enough for me.

Now going to Walmart or the Mall on the other hand, that's an all day event. Unlike my two girls I live with, I'm an in and out type of person. I make my list, check it twice, and buy what I wrote. If I can't find it where I think it would be, I cross it off the list. Not these two... they could content themselves with searching through the hustle bustle of holiday shoppers, and those people lack all forms of decency.

I'm not about to have an argument because I just hate shopping, so I go along with it, and going along with it involves the Disney Store. I hate that store. I could also go into great detail about Yankee Candle, but I'll just say, who in their right mind is willing to spend twenty dollars on a candle? I can buy a candle at Dollar General for ONE DOLLAR!

Of course, with four nieces, three nephews, and now four new additions to the immediate family on their way, that means the toy store. Did you know there's two whole aisles of nothing but Frozen? Well if you don't, you're not missing anything, and if you do, well I'm sorry that this movie was made. You, like me, have fallen to that Disney Empire.

I do love Disney... I really do, but Frozen, oh how I hate you.

Happy Holidays everybody!

For all you who aren't yet parents or are expecting, don't let this scare you, as with or without Frozen, I wouldn't have it any other way. Even when winter finally comes, and we're all curled up on our couch listening to "Do you want to build a Snowman," for the hundredth time, I'll be sipping my Maxwell House with a smile on my face. Trust me, on the inside I'll still want to smash that stupid snowman with a log, but I'll be happy nonetheless, because parenting is probably the single most enjoyable thing I've ever had the privilege to experience.

And with that, I leave you to your own thoughts and I'm kicking you out of mine... honestly, you should have stopped reading when I told you to.

NaNoWriMo 2015 Here we go!