Let's Take Time to Celebrate Life!!!!

The eye of the Tiger

I wonder if I am hungry enough. I feel torn up inside. I wonder what it will take to ingest something to make me feel better. I am emptied and praying for God to fill me up in ways that will lead me to feed others. I enter my day somewhat skeptical. I am very aware that there are some people that think I am too dramatic or cold or not nearly as spiritual as they are. I am also very aware that my own quest to get somewhere that no one else can, is not conducive to any dialogue. I enjoyed a book by Mitch Albom lately. He talked in his book about the need for all of us to be remembered. I look at my life and wonder what is memorable. When I look at the sea of people I am a small part of what makes everything work. I am a molecule of a drop of water that falls into an ocean and at times a ripple affect seems negligible, compared to the many out there who are more content to make a big splash even if it drowns out any attempt for others to make an impact. I vented at my coordinator of my agency. I realized after it was over I was merely angry at myself. The pay scale seems wrong. I have all the care giving experience and it means nothing. The agency gives raises on the basis of people attending workshops and going to events like picnics. I have another job, easier said than done. I wonder if I could have made better choices. Maybe there is more time. I had opportunities and chances to fully expand caregiving potential. Now I see myself a primarily a learner. It does no good to bemoan that I may or may not know more about caregiving than someone else. I am a caregiver because I want to learn how to be a more effective caregiver for others which includes myself. If I do not like what is happening with my agency I need to go else where.