The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 1

Conversation About High Culture

“Hello Dr. Linkins!”
“Hello Harry!”
“How are you doing?”
“I am doing well, you?”
“Splendid!”
”Good!”
“Does this have anything to do with the shoplifting incident?”
“No, that was three days ago. I am actually quite proud of you for being accountable for your actions. I just want to get to further acclimate myself with you.”
“Sweeeet!”
“I would like to know more about what you like to do for fun.”
“My activities include tennis, skiing, movies, video games, billiards, paintball, traveling and chess.”
“I like to travel also. My favorite place to go to is Paris.”
“Paris is swell! My favorite area in Paris is the Champs Elysee’s.” “You must be into high-end shopping.”
“Let me put it this way. When I was Singapore, I went to the Burberry on Orchard Road. I wanted one item from Burberry, so I got the cheapest item that I would have a purpose for: a Burberry sport shirt for $125.”
“I know the feeling, when I was in London, and I went to Selfridges, I bought the store made goods, since they were cheaper.”
“Funny story about London. Last Thanksgiving, I went to London for break. I wanted to buy an overcoat, so I went to Harrods. I told a sales associate that I only wanted to spend 300 pounds, and he gave the address for Marks and Spencer’s, which is where I bought my overcoat. Say, Dr. Linkins, have you ever seen Dr. Strangelove?”
“Yes!”
“Remember the seen when the general is asking the guy about what it is like to be tortured?”
“Yes!”
“That is how I feel about flying coach.”
“I know the dread. It is just that a business class seat costs about $3,000. You know that most people who fly business class do it because their companies pay for it?
“I do! It is best to always use frequent flyer points to pay for an upgrade, that way you don’t have to pay the exurbanite fees.”
“I agree! I went to London for the first time when I was 28, and that was the most exhilarating moment in…………”
“Was that to witness the signing of Magna Carta?”
“Charming ass, aren’t you?”
“You were about to say it was the most exhilarating experience of your life; wasn’t your involvement in Stonewall more sufficient?”
“I wasn’t involved in Stonewall, but I saw your parents there.”
“Yes, real funny! When it comes to London, I don’t just go for the history and the high culture; I like to see how the other half-lives, but then I chicken out. I went to the White Chapel neighborhood of London to see where the Ripper Murders occurred, and I left upon realizing that it was a Muslim ghetto.”
“What is your favorite restaurant in London?”
“I love the London Hard Rock Café.”
“I also love Hard Rock Café. Have you been to the Hard Rock Café in San Francisco, because that is my favorite one?”
“Yes, but my favorite one is the one in New York. I do love San Francisco though.”
“I love Union Square; I really like the Macy’s there.”
“I prefer the Macy’s on 34th Street in New York; after all, it is the world’s largest department store.”
“You find a lot of nice Macys, since Macy’s has purchased a lot of department store franchises, and has opened up shop in their old flagship stores.”
“I am always reluctant to go to restaurants/shops that are not franchises, due to the fact that franchises are where you know you are getting high quality.”
“I agree, when I buy my Nike shoes, I prefer to go to a reputable franchise, as opposed to going to a local store, since I know I am getting real Nike shoes and not getting rip-offs.”
“I’ve never understood my love for Nike, merely since I hate hip-hop.”
“Harry, I have a meeting at this time, but it was great talking to you.”
“Ok, I will see you later.”