The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 1

Shopping Mall

On December 20th, 2010, Winfield Reese and Cindy facilitated a trip to the City Creek Center, a shopping mall in Salt Lake City. The students attending the trip were Myself, Adam, Joe, Chloe, Jackie and Lily. At 11:00 A.M., the group members all assembled in the van, and we departed for the mall.
On the way to Salt Lake City, Winfield stopped at a Shell gas station. For his entertainment, Joe decided to pull my seatbelt to compress me. Upon redoing his seatbelt, I turned to Joe and said, “How can the seatbelt even fit around your waist? Joe turned to him and said, “your mom,” where I then referenced Joe as an autistic piece of s*** who is capable of no more than meager insults. Winfield overheard both statements, and responded: “The next person to speak, walks back to Kingsville.”
Upon arriving at the mall, we separated, but were to meet at Johnny Rockets at 5 for dinner. Ever student got fifty dollars, but I had an additional hundred smuggled in; I went to the J. Crew, where I got myself an expensive sports shirt, and he then went to Macys to purchase my Grandpa a gift certificate with the money I was anointed by Great Ascendency. At 5:00 P.M., the group met at Johnny Rockets, in which Adam turned to me and said, “How did you buy that shirt with only 50 dollars?” We both laughed!

At 7:00 P.M., the group departed to head back to Kingsville. I was exhausted, so I decided to take a nap. While I was asleep, my head was against Chloe’s thigh. Thirty minutes later, I was awoken by a slap across the face. “CHLOE!” “YOU PERVERT!” I turned to Winfield Reese and confirmed that I fell next to her lap, but didn’t do anything, and Chloe claimed I was a perverted bastard. Winfield Reese turned around and told both of them to “shut up.”
There was a part of me who wished I had been Chloe’s uncle, but then I remembered that because of how attractive she is I wouldn’t be able to do anything to her. The reason I reflected on that is because I remember how I wish they’d gotten an attractive girl to play Malorie in Natural Born Killers, but I remembered that if they had done that, the movie would have become unrealistic, since there is no way her father would’ve gotten away with treating her the way he did
At 11:00 P.M., the group arrived at Polly House. Winfield Reese asked me to accompany him to the entrance. Winfield turned to me and told me that, “In the future, don’t buy really expensive things during Great Ascendency outings,” where I stated, “J. Crew isn’t that great,” and Winfield told him, “Just don’t buy anything nice; buy a crummy pair of sunglasses like what I have. It will help you fit in better, and it will make our lives easier.”