The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 1

Making Fun of People

At 8:00 A.M. on January 28th, 2011, the house was so dirty that Jodi Kane came over to the house, in order to give everyone a wake up call that went something like this, “YOU ALL NEED TO GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF BED, THIS HOUSE I DIRTY.” When everybody got downstairs, Jodi exclaimed, “The floor is dirty; the stairs are dirty; the curtains are dirty; and you all need to start cleaning.” As soon as she left, George mocked her by exclaiming, “Your balls are dirty; your cum is dirty; it looks a lot like the inside of ma ass.” I would go on to exclaim, “At least she wasn’t an S.S. guard at a concentration camp; the showers are dirty; the oven is dirty; the broken glass from your house is dirty, and you need nice, clean, broken glass; the corpses are dirty, oh wait, he is alive. This is very unsanitary, and there should be no carbon monoxide in the showers; that is also very unsanitary.”
George and I spent the morning discussing the different types of classes that should be taught at Great Ascendency. The first idea was having a class taught by Janet Ramsey on how to wash yours balls; it would be a female student asking why she needs to be here, in which Janet would exclaim, “You need to learn to wash your man’s balls”. The other class would be taught by Jodi, which would be on how to use tampons; I said that I would question his reasoning for being in that class, and George said that Jodi’s explanation would be, “For when you bleed out your ass.” The last idea was a sex education class taught by Barbara, in which George and I would come up with the idea of Barbara’s lecture being something like this: “Ok, Ok, I know many of you are bothered by words like sex, but we need to be grown up about it, and if anyone feels uncomfortable at this time, they should feel free to speak up. I believe that you are supposed to take the penis and put the penis in the vagina; I have never actually seen a penis, but I hear it looks something like a pickle.”
The two of us proceeded to make fun of Lily. We joked about how instead of separating Lily and Harry Reid, they should have brought them closer together. I came up with the idea of Great Ascendency coming up with the idea that Lily and Harry should work out their differences after the incident between the two of them, and the solution would be to have the two of them share a motel room. The other Harry would exclaim “YAY,” while Lily would beg for them not to go along with the plan, but her pleas would be snubbed. Winfield Miott and Winfield Reese would be the guards for the motel room, and were told not to let either of them out until they worked out their differences. The two of them were only provided with one bed along with champagne, for bonding.
On February 1st, 2010, Adam and Mary were upstairs, making out, when they heard me talking about Lily having her menstrual cycle; in which she drowns the entire city of Kingsville. Adam later told me that he and Mary lost interest in making out, and he felt like murdering the two of us. Adam had a long night, reflecting on the gruesome remarks that come out of our mouths, only to realize he thinks they are the funniest things he had ever heard. The next morning at breakfast, we were once again making fun of Jodi by exclaiming everything is dirty, and the remarks went like, “The molecules that make up the steel table are dirty; the dirt is dirty; Mars is dirty.” Adam decided to join in, and made statements like “Your mom is dirty; your mind is dirty; your past is dirty; your s*** is dirty.” The three of us laughed.