The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 2

The New Harry

The new Harry was in fact a complete idiot. Let us start off by talking about his political arguments. Harry Ramsey once exclaimed to Luke, “We nuked the hell out of the Japanese in WWI”. When Luke and I were talking about Watergate, Harry Ryan thought that is was a kind of torture. Also, when Jenny contracted bronchitis, Harry Ryan asked, “Does your throat bone hurt?”
The dumbest move on Harry Ryan’s end was trying to steal Mary from Adam. While Adam was in the bathroom at the OPO, and Mary was out in the waiting room, Harry Ryan went up to Mary and called her a babe. He went on a whole rant about how Adam was a low life pothead, who could never provide a decent living, and how Harry would be able to provide for her, once Harvard finally accepted one of his applications, and he goes onto become a “brain doctor.” Mary made nice and calm rejects, with a smile that indicated she felt very uncomfortable. Harry told her about how she is more attractive than any porn star that he has ever viewed; continued to talk about all of the girls he banged, who he then dumped of at the abortion clinic; and went on a rage about how he used to be a pimp, and would traffic girls from Czechoslovakia. When Adam came out of the bathroom, Harry exclaimed “Hey cum-bucket, we are talking, get lost.” Adam stormed over to punch Harry, when Winfield Reese came in, and told Harry to get out of Polly House.
The troubles would continue with me. I walked in one day, when Harry Ryan was telling Luke, John, and Jenny about a female model who picked him up; I began cracking up, which caused me to get kicked out of Polly House by Cindy. Harry Ryan and I would continue our quarrels. I saw Harry Ryan downtown and exclaimed “wassup”, and Harry Ryan exclaimed, “GET THE f*** OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I f***ING HURT YOU,” in which I walked away, since I was embarrassed, due to the fact that over two-dozen people were staring; and then Harry Ryan exclaimed, “THAT IS RIGHT, YOU BETTER KEEP WALKING, HOMO.”
One Saturday, I drove up to meet up with the Winfield Miott, who had taken students to play paintball. During one of the matches, Harry Ryan exclaimed to some girls on the other team “SUCK THESE,” along with telling three 10-year-olds to stop being pussies; and he would teach his kids to not be a pussy from the time they are one. I wanted to shoot Harry Ryan, but I couldn’t, since we were teammates. Harry Ryan exclaimed, during the break, that he had been shot in the balls, in which I pointed out that Harry Ryan should have worn a cup, and Harry Ryan exclaimed, “Cups are for pussies, you don’t even have anything there, you are a pussy for wearing a cup, EVERYONE, HARRY JOHNSON IS A f***ING PUSSY FOR WEARING A CUP;” Winfield Miott told him to shut up, with over 40 people looking at the group.
Myself, Mark, Adam, and Kyle Poy were all having lunch at a local coffee shop, when Harry Ryan walked in, and it was unprecedented what would happen. An African American accidently bumped into Harry Ryan, in which he apologized. Harry Ryan responded by yelling, “You f***ing Nigger, what the f*** are you doing in here, this is a white’s only shop.” The African American male kept calm, while myself, Mark, Adam, and Kyle snuck out of the shop, so no one would notice us. Harry went on this whole rant about how black people are inferior, and how the world would be so much better without them. The African American had walked out of the shop, but Harry Ryan kept exclaiming, “I HATE NIGGERS.” The cashier had called the police after Harry refused to leave the coffee shop. Two officers entered the coffee shop, in order to arrest Harry, and one of them was African American. Harry did not resist arrest but made remarks about how immoral it was that an African American was a police officer, and he should be bagging groceries instead. The officer ignored Harry Ryan [I don’t know if it was out of pity, or for information that could be used to indict him in court]. While being marched to the police station, Harry continued to shout along the street, “I HATE f***ING BLACK NIGGERS.” Harry was held in jail until Monday, where he was arraigned only on disturbing the peace, which led him to a plea bargain of $500. His parents paid the bale, but all of Harry’s allowance was seized at Great Ascendency, until he paid his parents back.
On the night of November 8th, 2011, Harry Ramsey was called in to get drug tested. Harry Ramsey refused to take the drug test, despite how Winfield Miott had ordered him. The next day, Harry was called into Dr. Linkins office, in which Harry still refused to take a drug test. The refusal to take the test caused Harry to be terminated from Great Ascendency, Harry ended up living in a homeless shelter in Provo. Is his termination interesting? No! Not everything in reality is interesting, though.