Another attempt at getting to know others and myself |
Moving on is difficult. In a short time I will be in a place far from my kids. At least on the surface it seems that way. I was at my grandson's birthday yesterday. I felt like I was on this invisible battle field. I knew of it even if no one else did or let on they did. As usual my wife Sharon refused to go. There was my ex and her future husband. They will be married in a few weeks. My kids were all there and Cindy was very intentional about giving them information about what they needed to do to get ready for her wedding. I was weirded out. I was leaving the week after her wedding. She had made it clear to me that she moved on!! My agenda was to have closure. She said that was my problem not hers. Her fiancée sits on a couch from me. While Cindy flits he sits. I decide I am there for my grandson, invited by my son. I decide to steer clear of my ex and her future husband. I am definitely on the outside looking in. Everyone else talks as if remarriage is a good thing. Didn't I do the same. I leave past Cindy as I move out. I need to leave. It has become too uncomfortable. I tell her it was good to see her and she says the same. It will likely be our last contact. I wonder if some of the discomfort arises from growing up in a family where dad kept it all together. Times have changed and like it or not I am moving on in more ways than one. I pray for the family I will leave if only for a time and for family in Pennsylvania I do not know. Pray that I have strength to move on. |