Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about Hamburg, dragging, & a Red Light District.

We're taking it easy today, I've chosen some museums, it's up to you what appeals. Or if you would rather get some exercise there's a bike tour.

Miniatur Wunderland (Hamburg, Germany)  

Warehouse District  

Hamburg-Auskenner Bike Tour  

Dinner is at 7:00pm this evening at Restaurant Hala  : Lebanese, Mediterranean, Vegetarian, Middle Eastern, Gluten Free.

Now for the more adventurous of you I've arranged for a evening in Hamburg's famous Red Light District  , Reeperbahn  . I've been told it equals Amsterdam's; you'll have to tell me at the end of our trip since we will be hitting both. The street is lined with restaurants, night clubs, discotheques   and bars. There are also strip clubs, sex shops, brothels, a sex museum and similar businesses. If the Red Light District doesn't appeal to you, here's another chance to return to the game clubs we went to last night.

What's up you guys? Day 21 of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" 's annual camping trip, only this time with a twist...we're traipsing through Europe! Our wonderful travel guide, Lyn's a Witchy Woman , has prepared an amazing itinerary jam-packed with informative tours, decadent restaurants, sightseeing, and shenanigans very drunken shenanigans nightlife experiences. And we're traveling with a great crew...everyone's having a blast and enjoying nearly every aspect of the trip so far.

I do have a confession to make: I wasn't really planning on participating much...just sort of grazing along, poking around here and there and that's about it. But then I got tagged a couple of times in different places, and made some comments, and now all the sudden I'm here like three weeks in, albeit not having missed out too much, but I sorta hafta answer for myself. Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline especially was like "You don't want me to have to drag you through the Red Light District!" and I was like "Ok dear!", and it's not polite to keep your ladyfriend waiting .

And that's what's great about the August Camping Trip each year...everyone's building off of everyone else's entries and stories, and tagging each other, and by the end we're this super-tight group that knows way more about each other than when we started. Friendships are created and/or solidified, we're learning about places many of us might never see, and sometimes we're exercising this creativity that might not have otherwise occurred. It's a beautiful thing...the best part of the whole experience, in my opinion.

So, let's recap just part of what I've learned so far:

SB Musing is as crazy as advertised, in all the best ways.

Sally can pull off wearing a Santa hat in the middle of August like you wouldn't believe! She also knows how to keep a secret (or many) .

Princess Megan Snow Rose has found romance in Daniko, which is very sweet. She also has a mischievous streak, of which I was unaware of given how long I've known her.

Pretty sure none of us is crazy about boat rides. I swear at one point I saw Jellyfish Merry In Morocco! scribble "If you can read this, it's too late!" on a scrap of paper, roll it up, stuck it in an empty wine bottle, corked it tight, and slipped it off the side of the boat.

SandraLynnSprinkles Slingin' and 💙 Carly-wrimo 2024 are Canadian. I don't know what that means. And PandaPaws Licensed VetTech and I live roughly an hour or so apart back in the states, which has nothing to do with the difference between Morocco and Monaco, nor does it explain how a panda can end up in jail.

So, Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline and I... . Beautiful and amazing and I'm a lucky guy and I'm sure you're all sick of hearing about it (I'm not sick of it though ). Plus, we build the best pillow and mattress fortresses!

It's no coincidence that after photographs ("Note: [Link To User geja8856] on left and [Link To Us...") of a super-semi-secret meeting back in the United States with Lyn's a Witchy Woman surfaced, Gaby magically showed up and the itinerary disappeared...when we were going on a boat . I'm pretty sure there's a plot to assassinate one or many of us at some point while we're still in Germany. I'm not sayin'...I'm jus' sayin'.

Now, onward to today's adventure!

Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline let me sleep in a little, knowing we had a big day planned ahead of us. And I gotta admit, it might've been the best night of sleep so far. We got assembled and headed out to catch up with the rest of the bunch. Gaby was already in rare form...showing everyone who would listen to her some crazy YouTube cartoon video   where the title image looks like a giant animated dong in need of serious medical attention. We need to limit her Coke intake.

SB Musing seems to have recovered nicely from her afternoon spent locked in a crate yesterday, although I'm wondering if maybe we should consider letting her sleep in one each night to harness the energy and rambunctiousness for maximum effect. We can just lure her in with treats, close it up, let the spirits do their thing, and watch her re-manifest each day. Plus, that's one less bed we'll be taking up; therefore, more pillows for our fortresses. The only problem I can foresee with this is that no one's gonna wanna sacrifice the space in their rooms for a crate. If we can't trust the hostel-keepers to leave her in the lobby or the hallway, Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline and I will step up and be in charge of our friend's safekeeping. We need a fun and ready-to-go SB Musing all the time!

As today was promised as "taking it easy", Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline and I opted out of the bike tour. Couldn't tell you when the last time I rode a bike that wasn't bolted to the ground, but I hear that once you get on it's just like riding a bike. Sally , SandraLynnSprinkles Slingin' , and WakeUpAndLive joined us as we headed off for Miniatur Wunderland.

I didn't realize at first that it was a model train exhibit, but it's interesting because my late uncle was a model train enthusiast. When he passed we found crates upon crates full of trains, tracks, and accessories, as well as shelves full of Model Railroader magazines   and a few of his own custom layouts. I'm really sure he would've loved this place. The craftsmanship and attention to detail was precise and stunning...the hours and years of patience and care combined in all the displays would equal several lifetimes over. I took a moment to ponder that, and then realized that the one thing this place was lacking was one of those little ride-on trains for kids like you see at some shopping malls. Please, take a moment of silence in honor of my disappointment at not being able to make an ass out of myself as a grown manchild riding on a children's toy. I would've purchased one of those old-school striped conductor's hats and everything. This is also why people seldom take me anywhere.

After a short nap we headed over to Restaurant Hala for dinner. I've never had Lebanese, and I'm always hesitant to put something in my mouth that doesn't look or smell appealing, so I struggled at first making up my mind because if there's anything I dislike more than weird food, it's being disappointed at a nice restaurant. Not wanting to load up too much, I started off with some hummus, but found myself unable to resist the Corn Chicken Breast on Mustard-Saffron Sauce with Spinach and Roasted Potatoes  . It's no Chicken McNuggets with hot mustard sauce and a large fry, but it was still pretty good. I couldn't even finish it all (I never do at places like this), so I made sure I asked for a container for leftovers in case I want something to munch on later. SB Musing tried nabbing a piece of chicken I'd cut up to fit into the little box (they always give you either a too-small box or a too-big box), so I had to put the forking skills she taught me earlier this month to good use. The student has become the teacher .

Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline and I decided that we'd tag along with everyone heading over to Reeperbahn, because when you're in an Amsterdam-like area, you do the damn thing, or something-something they usually say about the Romans. Holy pornoville! Y'all know I'm no prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I've never seen so much smut contained in one area before...no joke! Full disclosure: I'm not a fan of strip clubs  , personally. The ones in New York are very tame and kinda skeevy, plus they make the girls wear pasties and keep their bottoms on, and that's kinda purpose-defeating. At least in Canada they're a bit more...exhibition-y. But the whole stripper scene is kinda gross and awkward and sad, if you ask me (which you didn't, which is why I'm telling you). But there are metric fuck-tons (no pun intended) of other fun things to do here for the pervertically-inclined. Although it's kinda imposing, walking hand-in-hand with your favorite lady on a nice, romantic summer night's stroll when the scenery is basically the set of pornographic cinematography.

We hemmed and hawed a little, loitering around a few places and giggling like 12-year-old boys hearing the word "vagina" in health class for the first time, when Sally and SB Musing convinced us to finally enter one of the sex shops. More full disclosure: years ago my sister had a part-time job in a sex toy store. I would stop in and visit sometimes whenever I was in the neighborhood. That's where I truly realized I have never, ever grown up, because damn near everything in places like that can be made fun of when your mind is filthy.

So yeah, we're looking around, pulling faces at all the wondrous goodies people put in, on, and around their bodies, and SB Musing is totally in her element, fo' realz yo. She disappeared with a few outfits into a changing room, and we'd nearly forgotten about her; she'd been in there for quite awhile. It must've been really warm in that tiny little room, because she emerged forty-five minutes later a sweaty, disheveled, red-faced mess.

I'd grabbed a handbasket...not because I thought we were gonna actually buy anything, but because I didn't want to give off the impression that I'd be shoplifting (they'll eye you up and down in places like that). But every damn time I turned around, someone (*cough* Sally *cough*) was tossing random shit in my basket. I'd turn my head, and there'd be flavored lube. I'd make a joke to Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline , and find anal beads sticking out. We're gonna need to get Sally a cold shower when we get back to the hostel.

Having decided we'd had enough of a laugh there, we left without actually buying anything and headed back out into the street. We saw Spacecat talking to what we thought were friends of his, because the conversation they were having looked easy and animated...until I looked closer and realized they were prostitutes, and we were standing in front of a brothel. He'll tell you it was our idea to go inside, but the fact of the matter is that in the course of an hour, he ran up a pretty decent tab and was trying to negotiate a lower price after the fact. We just wanted to make sure he got out of there alive, and offer assistance if need be. Bro, has nobody ever taught you not to stick your dick in crazy  ?

Once we finally got Spacecat sorted, we decided to play it safe and head to the Erotic Art Museum  , because we're a civilized, cultured folk who enjoy the creations of others in a mature, enlightened manner. BAHAHAHAHAHA! Even I almost believed that as I was typing it! The only thing better than watching monkeys hump rocks at the zoo is looking at abstract drawings of naked ladies with their boobs facing in twenty-three different directions, while a man with only what I can assume is three penises lays in the background looking bored as hell. I can't wait for the next innovation in technology, where all this stuff is presented in 3-D.

Our fill of curiosity sated, it was time for the usual nightcap. A little noshing on some appetizers, a couple beverages, the slightly outta control ironic dancing that makes people wonder if I'm choking, lots of laughter, and some quiet conversation near the end of the bar with my adorable companion as the night wound down. You guys... I'm not supposed to feel this smitten! How did I luck out like this? Even Sally stepped back as we were making our way back to the hostel, just to admire what she was seeing...and all she could do was smile. How was everyone else's day?

"Flamenco"   -The Tragically Hip

"Maybe a prostitute could teach you how to take a compliment.
Maybe I'll go to New York; I'll drag you there.
You said, 'No one drags me anywhere.'"