Witness to Withness

God speaks to me

Moses said who should I tell them you are by name. A voice out of the heavens says "Yahweh", which in Hebrew means I am who I am.

I am going back to the promised land, but this time I take Jesus with me
I tried too long to do it myself with others
GOD came to me and asked am I not enough
So I watched God take me by the hand to another place
I was leaning on manna from heaven, a sign from God that said I am who I am.

Here I am just days after getting terminated and my heart aches just as it did so many years ago when I came back to school right after a lengthy mental illness. Who believed I could succeed. God spoke. I recall going to revival shortly after having resumed my studies. I was feeling empty. I was not allowed back to the dorms, because they saw me as fragile. I lived with a wonderful Irish widow, worked at Burger King and had Massachusetts rehab on my side. At that revival God told me to let it go. I surrendered all my neediness and insecurity. I decided no one at that college needed to know I was in need. I knew if I went that route my school days would end. Some students with all kinds of charisma came forward. They were going to save me from myself. GOD would have none of it. God said I have provided support, now surrender and trust. Two years later at my college graduation I saw them. They looked confused as if to wonder why I did not consult them.

God showed me that a college that saw me as damaged goods could never help or heal me. God spoke thru a therapist, Irish wins, blind rehab worker and Burger King. God saw in me a wonderful gifted man who could make a difference. Forget the past look past the "rescuers". I celebrated that I knew they were there. I valued myself and at all God gave care about me. I graduated Cum Laude. All things are possible. God said Gary I love you. Trust in my caring and great things will happen and they did. The words of a halfway house manager yelled at me with words more veritable than any college preacher. "Gary, we are counting on you, we are expecting good things. Guess what?!! I believed this voice above those that said I am no good and need their help. God is enough and if God is all you got you got all you need.