Fighting For A Life Worth Living

Day 5

I am having great difficulties trying to write about day 5. I have numerous thoughts racing through my mind right now that is causing me to feel very overwhelmed. My first thought was that yesterday was average for me and I was ok with it, but that is wrong. Yesterday started with me making a bad decision that lead to me making worse decisions as the day progressed.
There is a donut shop I used to pass everyday on my way to work, but I never stopped there. My husband loves donuts and also has mentioned trying it on numerous occasions. Since my husband took a few days off of work to celebrate his birthday we decided the time was right to try their donuts. My husband picked out his usual chocolate frosted donut, while I chose the maple frosted donut. Instantly my husband loves his donut, but I am not a huge fan of donuts and am not easily impressed. I will admit the donut had a good flavor. My pickiness lies in the consistency of the donut itself. I prefer a lighter donut like the ones at Krispy Kreme instead of a dense cake donut. My error came after I made my husband go to Krispy Kreme after already having a donut. Come to find out I didn't really enjoy the Krispy Kreme donut because it was too rich!
My next mistake yesterday was having pizza for supper. My husband and I have unknowingly turned Fridays into a pizza tradition. We think of it as a way to celebrate that the weekend is here. It is no secret that my husband and I have very different tastes. Which is another reason I believe we like pizza so much. He can have a plain cheese pizza, while I prefer ham and pineapple or philly cheesesteak. Most of the time we get our own pizzas because the types I like generally come with a different sauce. Last night was not any different. We had picked up frozen pizzas from the store, of course we like 2 different brands, so once again we had our own pies.
***Confession time***
I believe that some people don't realize that the way they eat is unhealthy. I am not one of those people. I realize when I am partaking in an unhealthy habit. The whole drive to Krispy Kreme I had thoughts like I don't need Krispy Kreme, but it's so good. While eating the pizza I didn't have any thoughts at all but my whole demeanor changed. I suddenly felt like I had failed myself and went into a distorted state. Right now I am thinking back to yesterday and asking why did I do that, I could have turned things around at anytime. Instead I allowed myself to make additional bad mistakes. After eating the pizza I binged on fruit snacks, landing me in a deeper depression.
***s*** makes good fertilizer and helps things grow***
I am still feeling frustrated about yesterday, but I can look at it in a positive light. Writing about my bad day has helped open my eyes a little wider, about some bad habits I have. One being the Friday pizza tradition. There is nothing wrong with happily greeting the weekend, however pizza does not have to be the means of celebration. I want to find a new way to be excited for the weekend that does not involve food. Knowing what pizza does to my mental state I will not allow my tastebuds to negatively control my life anymore. As far as the Krispy Kreme dilemma I don't know how to convince myself that I don't like something that I become so excited for, however I will figure it out!Finally I think I need to reread the chapter in my dummy book that talks about the signals your body alerts you with to tell you that you are truly hungry.