Evolution of love

Mother Reveals Herself"

"A few months after coming to Bajitpur, while sitting on the northern bank of the pond, this Body had a kheyāl which brought about certain questions: How does a human being seek God? How does one realize Him? I would have to enact the play of sādhanāAustere endeavour/spiritual practice for the purpose of preparing oneself for Self-realisation). Another day a thought came up, what is ‘dīkshā’ and how does it come about? Accordingly, the meaning of dīkshā (initiation) and the process by which it occurs were manifested distinctly within.
In reply to questions regarding initiation, Mā said, “Whatever comes about…” Ashu’s mother (Bholananth’s sister-in-law) had received a letter from her gurudev when this Body was very young. That letter had been kept safely. After noting the address, Bholānāth wrote to him requesting that he visit us. Receiving no reply he then sent a letter to Ashu’s mother asking for the updated address, but there was no reply to that either. In the mean time, the kheyāl regarding dīkshā began to manifest itself within this Body as a kind of līlā (divine play). Since for Her every thought is revealed to its fullest, this thought expanded itself to reveal that when the desire for dīkshā is intense, the Lord Himself manifests in the form of dīkshā. Just as the seed is an intrinsic part of the tree and the tree is inherent in the seed, similarly the seed is a proof of the tree and the tree of the seed – a natural revelation.
It was the night of Jhulan Pūrnimā.The festival of Jhulan is celebrated to mark the divine play of Lord Krishna and Radha sitting on a decorated swing. The celebration takes place in the month of Sravan ( July/August) from the eleventh day of the new moon till the full moon. It is culminated by tying rakhi (decorated hand bands) by sisters on the wrists of brothers. This particular date for Jhulan Pūrnimā was Monday, August 7, 1922.) In the evening a married woman from the neighbourhood came and asked whether I would go to see the jhulan swing festival, but I declined. After Bholānāth had eaten, I also ate a little hurriedly. I normally didn’t take My meal so early but I was overcome by a singular sensation. Then, sitting on the floor a short distance from his cot, I told him, “Tonight I feel a special kind of bhāv; I shall sit here.”
A couple of days earlier, on observing various kriyās manifesting themselves through this Body, Bholānāth had expressed concern,“You have not yet been initiated. I do not understand what is happening to You. We are ShaivitesFollowers of Shiva) and Shāktas (, Worshipper of the Divine Energy – Shakti – the dynamic aspect of the Supreme Being, one form of Her being Kālī ). You recite the name of Hari and undergo all these mystic states. At least You can recite the names of the deities worshipped as per our family tradition!” I agreed and after deciding on the name ‘Jai Shiva Shankara Bom Bom Hara Hara’ asked for Bholānāth’s permission for this, to which he consented.

The lamp was burning in the room and it was about ten or eleven at night. I noticed that the yogic kriyās which had manifested earlier at My reciting Harinām not only continued in the same vein when reciting Shiva’s nām, but also increased while evolving into still newer activities. This Body sat steadily facing the north-east ( The holy corner known as Ishan kon) a particular āsana. While She cleaned the floor through a symbolic gesture, a yagna-mandal ( Design drawn on a plain surface upon which specific pieces of wood are placed and fire lighted for yagna - the sacred fire ritual that is part of the initiation ceremony) shape automatically - although She had never seen such a thing being made before. While still seated in the particular āsana, Her upper body folded forward lying limp on the floor in front. Then She turned to face the east. Along with the changed rhythm of breath, this Body was suffused with an ineffable, divine delight. A vibration arose inside, below the navel, in the form of a mantra –’bīj’ (mystical sound) and travelled upward. The respective pūjā took place at the proper time ( Precise astrological moment) with the appropriate āsanas. For instance, the hand moved to the middle of the mandap or mandal and drew particular yāntrik letters (mystical diagram). Then the various aspects of worship: the appearance of fire, materials for yagna (, Oblation offered to the Deity by reciting mantra into the sacrificial fire), vedic rites and oblations, the mantras - all self manifested, and the Body performed all the rites as and when required.
Then once again the Body became still and inside Her the akshar or bīj (the mystic syllable) began to resonate, rising at first indistinctly with the breath and vibrating inside from below the navel. As the indistinctness gave way to clarity of sound, ( This is classified as ‘pashyantī vāk’ (subtle sound) arising in the astral body in unison with the gross body. There are four stages of sound as per yogic scriptures, known as: parā (indistinct) below the navel, pashyantī (navel), madhyamā (at the heart) and vaikharī (sound that comes out of mouth) Body’s eyes shut temporarily. After a series of complicated kriyās of the mouth and tongue, this resonance, coursing up from the navel through all parts of the body with increasing vigour, finally enunciated itself in a loud and clear voice through the mouth. Then the mantra was written into the sthandila ( Vessel meant for containing the fire for yagna) and the oblation was completed by the mantra itself. This was the revelation of a special aspect of the Shatchakra-bhed ( The penetration of the six mystical chakras within the subtle body corresponding to the specific bīj mantras and deities )as is mentioned in yogic scriptures. Unless one can overcome the outward and inward inertia (jadatā), the rhythm of the nām, the enunciation of the ‘bīj mantra’, the remembrance of or meditation on the Supreme cannot flow in the correct manner."