Blindfaller

My Blinded Heart

Matthias studied the curvy tan flesh of the woman across the parking lot and tensed when his wife tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Don Juan, your wife is over here." Suzie playfully chided him, but he saw the hurt on her face. He always did.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I was looking at the patio furniture on sale." He pointed to the display of chairs, porch swings, and tables, as Suzie snorted. "Sure you were."

As if to call his bluff, Suzie led him to the sale items, and the couple walked out with an expensive new set for their back patio. Matthias chided himself to be more careful to keep his eyes in check. He couldn't afford any more of this.

Still, it was nice to see Suzie smile, which is what happened when he went through with the large purchase and the couple went across the street to their favorite restaurant.

Back at home that evening, the usual routine of their lives resumed. Suzie watched her evening television shows while Matthias washed the dinner dishes. Dinner consisted of cold sandwiches and rubbery frozen french fries, cooked in the oven. He didn't complain. Sometimes he enjoyed her poor cooking and her slovenly cleaning habits because it gave him an excuse to let his eyes wander. He thought about leaving sometimes. More and more as time went by. What if he just took off, without warning or goodbye? Would Suzie find someone else? Would she treat him the same careless way that she'd treated him?

An image of the parking lot beauty sprung to mind, but he dismissed it. That was different. He wouldn't look if she behaved a little more...

what? He couldn't answer that without some deep soul searching that he wasn't ready for.

That evening, Matthias sat alone, Suzie had gone to bed after her tv shows ended. There was no tension or animosity between them, despite the lack of spark. The couple had their routines and their ruts, comfortable, but lacking imagination.

He often thought about changing things, anytime he drove somewhere alone, he wondered what it would be like to head out on the interstate and speed out of town, to new adventures. Would his leaving hurt her, or merely change the routine?

Their twelve years together had mostly been good, it was only the last few years that the intense boredom crept in. He'd been faithful, even though he'd had a few opportunities at the couple of work parties that Suzie didn't want to accompany him to. He wished she knew about those opportunities. Maybe she'd appreciate him more.

On his way upstairs to head to bed, Matthias spotted something unusual and stopped at the hall table upstairs to investigate.

A card with a scenic beach picture on the front sat there, displayed with the few framed photographs and a notepad. He didn't recall having seen it before, so he opened and read what was written inside.

Suzie,
I hope this card makes you smile and dream of all that awaits us at the beach. Just two more months. Love, Anthony.


Matthias replaced the card on the table and crept into the bedroom. He watched Suzie sleep for a long time, as he was now unable to sleep. He wondered who Anthony was. Could it be possible, that the card was innocent? Did Suzie's company have a big work trip planned?

The next morning, tired from being up most of the night, Matthias awoke early and prepared a large breakfast. He'd never done so before, so he struggled to get everything just right. Still, the eggs were a little rubbery, the toast was a little blacker than he preferred, and the bacon was charred.

All night, he struggled with his anger and jealousy. How his wife could look elsewhere when most of their own problems were caused by her, baffled him. Then, he began to think of all the ways that he was a perfect husband, and he stopped short.

Had he been a good husband?

Sure, he cleaned up a lot without vocal complaints, and he put up with her silly tv shows, but was that all it took to be a good spouse? Would she try a little harder if he did?

Matthias dished up two plates of food and carried them upstairs. He was glad she didn't awake early this morning. He didn't always keep track of her work schedule.

Suzie rolled over when he walked in and sat up, her hair a mess of tangled brown locks, poking up in all directions. He suppressed a laugh as he set her plate down beside her on the nightstand.

"Good morning. Are you hungry?"

She wrinkled her forehead and scowled at him. "What's all this? What are you doing?"

Now that she asked, he felt a little silly. How could he explain his jealousy that the card from Anthony had caused? He smiled down at her, his face flushed. "I just thought I'd make breakfast this morning."

She cocked an eyebrow and gave a slight grin. A shiver raced through him, his heart thumped in his chest. Were those butterflies in his stomach? He sat beside her and the couple enjoyed the less than perfect breakfast, neither mentioning the sub-par cooking involved.

They spent the day together, both calling into their work to take a personal day. That evening, after enjoying an expensive dinner in a fancy restaurant, Suzie typed out a text on her phone, then moments later, headed to the bathroom. Matthias, burdened with curiosity picked up the abandoned phone and stared in disbelief at the screen.

Anthony, my husband and I are staying together. Can I exchange my one-way ticket for two return trip? We could use a vacation. Thank you in advance. You've been an excellent travel agent.


Matthias ordered dessert for both of them and flashed a bright smile to her when she returned.

"What's that for?" she smiled back, her relaxed posture showing her contentment.

"It's for you. Every day. Forever."
~+~+~+~+
1,011 words

My blinded heart, these binding chains
Are gonna make a loner-traveling-onward out of me
I'm just a rambler at heart for a constant change
'Cause constant sorrow follows me all of my days
Well I'm a careless lover grieving over all the angst
And the hearts that cannot break
And its breaking mine
If the tides should turn and I'll learn all they know
Could I let you go if that should ever come time
My blinded heart, these binding chains
Are gonna make a loner-traveling-onward out of me
When did all the good times turn to hard lines on my face
And leave me so far from my place, right by your side
When did all the sad songs that we used to know
Come to haunt me so, each lonely night
My blinded heart, these binding chains
Are gonna make a loner-traveling-onward out of me
I'm just a rambler at heart for a constant change
'Cause constant sorrow follows me all of my days
'Cause constant sorrow follows me all of my days