Perpetual Ruminations

Disaster Combines with Covid

We have a good start into May and things are beginning to look a little better for us. We are extended under the stay at home orders, which I don't agree with, I think enforced social distancing would be enough, I'll even wear a mask out in public, but having to stay inside only creates stress and more problems on top of everything else. I'm not going to voice any opinions or thoughts on the pandemic except to say, I hope I never see another virus outbreak during an election year.

We have had our own disaster during these difficult times and it's been hard on everyone. In 2017 we literally ended our lives and started over again so we could foster our three grand children who had lived in abuse and then into the foster system for years. because the abuse was family, it was complicated, but the children were worth everything we had to do and everything we had to give up.

Three children, three grandchildren to be specific, the oldest, we'll call her Ann, the middle boy, John, and the youngest, Cathy. We had to take Cathy in right away because of some problems she had and no place to go. We were still learning about all of the fostering stuff and all of her problems; it was tough sometimes, but she stole my heart right off. Then the oldest girl started visiting on weekends and holidays, but it took months to get her placed in our care. At the time, we were foster parents, but our hearts were set to adopt and be a real family. The middle child had many issues, and after a heart breaking realization, we had to accept that we did not have what he needed and it would not work for him and his sisters to live under the same roof.

We had one of the girls already living with us, the next was slated to move in after the new year, 2018, and he was a threat to their well being and safety. We had to do what was best for everyone and admit we could not reach him, and he was not good for his sisters.

He went back into the system, although we continued to have contact with him and prayed for him to get a family that was right for him. Meanwhile, the youngest was about to be adopted, but her sister wasn't sure yet and old enough to have to decide for herself. It was a tough couple of months for both the girls, who were now both living with us full time. They had been in the system for years by this time and had been in homes together and individually, all saying they would adopt and all giving up on them at the last minute.

We had a huge explosion shortly before the finalization for Cathy. But, it changed nothing and last fall she officially became our daughter. It took a few days to sink in, but she finally realized she had a real family again. In fact, we were out camping and my wife and Ann were out in front on a trail we were hiking, Cathy was about ten feet behind them taking in the beauty around us, and I was about five feet behind her with our family dog. Cathy was looking at wild flowers as she walked, the suddenly started to skip and exclaimed, "I have a family! A real family"

With the youngest girl adopted, the oldest, Ann, realized this wasn't a repeat of the many foster homes she had been in and wanted to get adopted to. We filed and soon had a date set for just after the new year started. Both girls got very excited as the day came closer, and we thought some of the problems with Cathy were a result of this, but come to find out, more was going on than we knew.

Ann was adopted at the end of January, and things kind of went to hell after that with Cathy. A new girl had move into the area and was in her class, and trouble soon started at school. Even as we tried to get this under control, we started to have Cathy withdraw from us at home. Ann was indifferent and was struggling with the adoption, so we had our hands full. Both girls thought that since they were now adopted, they could run free and we had nothing but trouble. Most of the time they worked in shifts, one being good while the other went into trouble. We worked with therapists and did our best to get things back under control.

By February, Ann was starting to adjust to all the new ideas of family and had really settled in, but still did not feel comfortable with a family setting. We were working with a family therapist every other week, but soon realized that Cathy was being more withdrawn and pulling away from family, even as her sister Ann was joining in.'

Through the school, we knew that Cathy and her new friend were nothing but trouble, and we did our best to keep them apart as did the school. But they managed to keep in contact and things got worse. Then Corvid-19 hit and so did the crap right into the fan. Cathy was very social and started blaming me for not being able to go to school, to her friends, etc. A pandemic was new to her and she could not understand.

Both sisters had friends in the same complex we live in and would have time to visit back and forth. We were all good with it until Cathy went off the deep end. She wasn't supervised as much as we were lead to believe at her friends and had used this other friend as a means of getting in contact with the bad friend from school. they soon devised a plan. Cathy came home from her friends, but that night, she ran.

We found her by the next morning, at her friends home but she refuse to come home. Police were called in, but she still refused to come home. With the pandemic, things soon became all messed up and soon she was in the psych ward. There, she decided to claim abuse in the home, wanting to be brought back to the friends home. When that didn't work, she admitted she had made it all up to be with her friend.

She was back home in a week, and everything seemed to be getting back to a normal. Even Ann changed and seemed to finally understand that she had a forever family that loved her and she didn't have to worry about losing them. Her younger sister, however, soon discovered she could stay in contact with her bad friend through the distance learning.

Shortly after she found this out, we also found out through the school. things were changed and they could not message back an forth and again, she was mad and blamed me for not letting her have her friend. A couple weeks ago she ran again. This time she was working with her friend and had taken my billfold when she left.

The best we know, they were going to meet up, but needed to get certain things before hand, including cell phones. We soon had a runaway, as well as stolen debit and credit cards. But, as the charges came in, we could track her and soon she was in custody of the police. Her last text before she was "busted" was to her friend, but accidentally went to her sister. It read, "The po-po found me and I'm busted, don't let them get you."

she had been found behind a store burning receipts and packaging so nothing could get returned. The police took her down for some questioning and then were going to bring her home. She didn't want to come home and refused to cooperate. Then she claimed she was raped by me, numerous times. Social services had to be called in and everything went straight to hell for our family. Even though the replay on her phone, from her friend was instructing her to cry rape, it had to be investigated.

I agree, anytime a child says she has been sexually abused, it needs to be investigated. I knew I was innocent, but it was going to take time to prove it. Meanwhile, she was place outside the home, just what she wanted. The county also was going to take her sister out of the home until it went through court. Che came forward and told the investigators that if she was removed she would run away to come back home to us.

The next thing was I needed to leave the home then so she was safe. She insisted on coming with me. It took a few days but eventually the county let me stay home based on what the investigation was showing and what the older sister was stating as it being a safe and loving home.

We complied with everything the investigators wanted and since we had been informed by the adoption agency that it's smart to put in security cameras except in the girls rooms and bathrooms just in case something like this came up, and had listened, we soon had more than enough evidence to get everything dropped. That was last week.

But, now Cathy knows she has to face up to her lies and all the damage she caused by taking my billfold and spending money with e debit and credit cards, she is refusing to return home. Because of her age, she is just under the states accountably age, we are just out the money and wit the false accusations, she is feeling guilty and knows there are going to be consequences. She tried to play the social worker, but got caught contacting the friend who was also busted in this run-a-way scheme, so she really got herself jammed up.

Now, today, we signed some forms to have her evaluated by a new psych hospital. She is being transferred to a home for troubled girls and will soon be working with psychiatrists. Not what she wanted, but what she needed. As for us? We are still recovering from the damage she caused. We are out a lot of money and cannot return the items because they were opened and we have Covid-19.

We also have legal fees and other damages due to all of this. Ann finally broke down and cried over her sister not being her with us and her almost losing her new home because of everything. We are trying to get used to not having Cathy here with us, and undoing as much of the damage she did as we can. We don't even want to live here anymore because of everything that has taken place.

Today, finally, things are beginning to straighten out. It cost us a lot in money and we dropped a lot in our credit score as a result, but we have everything balance. Hopefully, in a few moths, we can begin to recover, although our credit score, from reporting stolen credit and debit cards, as well as the overdrafts and fees we are finally getting removed, will be barely into the fair area for a few years.

Who would have thought this is what the new year was bringing!