The Horde

lonely

Such a grey day outside. I know we need the rain and I see that the plants are just loving the fact they have water.

I just wish I could figure out how to meat new people in my area to be around. I know it is silly but it has been 4 plus years since I left my ex. I did so so that I did not have to deal with feeling abandoned by his drinking or the abuse I got to deal with when he was drinking.

Today I feel the need to be around people other than my customers at work. I want to drop the mask I wear emotionally to protect my customers from how I am really feeling.

It feels like most people I am around don't want to know the real my and all that I have been taught to do. At times I know it has scared people away from me.