The Horde

The wait

So, many things have happened over this year. I should not feel like I do bit each time I turn around something else is getting in my way. The one I want to get to know better ended up getting sick just before this weekend so he was unable to come visit me.

How did this all start?
Well, to be honest this started years ago back when I worked at Sam's Club in Fairbanks. I was a demo partner. I enjoyed doing my job giving out samples to people and keeping them informed to what I had each day. Well, there was a guy that worked receiving and stocking in the early part of the day that caught my attention. I got to know him as a friend because he had a family and someone he was with when my husband passed away I drew away from most but he was one of that it did not really matter I could talk to him about anything. I did my best to always be respectful.

As time went on he ended up leaving Sam's Club before I had my fourth child and we lost contact with each other. Its been nearly 14 years since we last talked. Then around the new year we ended up finding each other once more. Thanks to one of those online dating sites. During the spring we had made plans for him to come to the city I am in so we could spend time together. The virus got in our way as the state locked down and a new way of life was taught to the people. I did manage to get up the city he lives in over the summer. We spent a few hours together just talking and getting to know each other again. This past week we had made plans for him to come see me till he had a coworker show up at work with signs of the virus. It turned out to be an irritating gift. Since it looks like the one that showed up when they should not have saved my fiend a lot of stress from getting caught on the road when things started to happen. Needless to say, my plans got canceled once more. At lest this time it saved us from being in the position of both of us out of work for 2 weeks.

I keep hoping that this is just a temporary delay. I really enjoy spending time with him. He has been one of the first I have been around in years that makes me feel safe enough to relax my guard. I feel better when around him. Things are brighter and well..... I can say I want to go do things with him. Simple things like going out and tinkering with the cars. Just going for a walk with not designated destination. To even shopping for things needed. Then again there is more I would like to enjoy with him like watching movies and waking up in his arms.

I pray this comes true one day, for now I sit here waiting and watching. Doing as I always do and taking care of my son and work.