Complex Numbers

Wasted

Let's open October with a prompt from

Journalistic Intentions  (18+) This is for the journal keeping types that come to PLAY! New round starts July 1! #2213121 by Turkey DrumStik

This round will focus on weird names! I have worked in fields that have given me access to many bizarre names over the years. They are short prompts for a reason. I really want to see participants flex their mental muscles this round!

I'm not sure if my mental muscles are up to the task. They'd rather sit at home and drink. But I'm going to pick one of these prompts at random and see where it leads me.

Solid Waste Rd.

(You can see the other eccentric road names, as well as the other prompts, at the contest link above.)

I like roads.

Hell, I've designed roads.

Not major ones or anything, but those curvy little subdivision roads with their cul-de-sacs and cookie-cutter houses. I wasn't responsible for the houses. I was only responsible for making sure they weren't going to flood after they were built. Anytime you add impervious surface to an area -- roads, sidewalks, driveways, patios, the houses themselves -- stormwater runoff increases. I'll spare you the details, but the reason why shouldn't be too obscure.

But even runoff coming in from offsite can be an issue, so you don't plan to put houses where this is going to happen. Otherwise, next big storm comes along and your house gets washed downstream. It becomes, in effect, solid waste.

But that's not what I suspect Solid Waste Road was named after.

The other reason I like roads is I like driving on them. They go places and present you with things to look at -- sometimes big things like mountains or deserts, and sometimes little things like street signs.

Because sometimes, as this prompt illustrates, the street signs themselves can be oddball, eccentric, amusing, or head-scratching.

I always wonder what streets and roads are named for. Sometimes, it's trivial, like 33rd Street in Manhattan. Sometimes it's obvious, like Main Street in... well, just about any town in the US. But sometimes, it's a mystery to be solved.

There's a road near me called Turkey Sag Road, for instance. This bugged me until someone pointed out to me that the "sag" part was etymologically related to the "sac" in "cul-de-sac," which means, in French... wait for it... you're not going to believe this in a million years... "sack." Not sure how factual that information was, though.

And yet, I still don't know whether it's named for a hollow where turkeys hung out, or whether someone along the road used to sack turkeys for Thanksgiving or whatever. The internet is completely useless in this regard, and the few people who live in old houses on enormous plots of land along said road do not seem to be the kind who welcome strangers knocking on their doors to ask stupid questions.

Two of my favorite road names are, in no particular order, Clint Drive and Flicker Lane.

I'm sure this makes no sense on the face of it. Perfectly ordinary words or names, right?

Except consider that road names are almost exclusively etched onto street signs in BLOCK CAPS.

And do you know what you get when you put an L and an I together in BLOCK CAPS?

There's an old warning for comics writers, because comics dialogue was also traditionally done in block caps: Never, ever, ever name a character CLINT FLICKER.

Anyway, I'm going to save some of my other road name musings on the chance I'll pick one of the other weird road names in a future entry. I'll just leave you with this: I'd bet $10 that Solid Waste Road leads to the local sewage treatment facility, because that's what they call anything that goes through the sewer system that isn't, well, liquid. And sometimes the stuff that is liquid, but then settles out. It's very tempting to call that "shit," and I suppose in the very general sense of the term it is (as in "What's all this shit?") but actual fecal matter isn't all that's there. No, there's toilet paper, obviously; some of your kids' toys; "flushable" wipes that really aren't; and your ex's wedding ring.

Or it could be a dump, or "landfill." Either way, it's solid waste.

So it's not all that bizarre, really; perhaps someone considered it a bit of a joke ("Okay, we can't call it "Shit Lane," and "Treatment Plant Drive" won't fit on the street sign, so..."); but I'll admit it would be amusing to drive past and see the sign. Still, while it's likely in an industrial-zoned area, I feel a good bit of sympathy for any humans who live along that road. Not only do they have to put up with the fragrance of a dump or a treatment plant, but anyone who sends them snail mail can get a great chuckle at their expense.