The Definition of Insanity

Friends, please

PROMPT November 1st

Write about something you want. Pick something that you don’t necessarily need, but would make you happy simply to have.

The line between “wants” and “needs” blur after you go beyond basic needs and items that you buy just for some pleasure, in my opinion. Then again, that’s after you go over endless possibilities and create idiotic scenarios. Ah whatever. So I’m not sure what would make me happy right now. I have all of my livable needs met and plenty of things that I have that I don’t need, and having more wouldn’t really make me happy.

I suppose I want to see Kat. I want to hug her or watch a movie with my legs thrown across hers or just be able to be in the same room for a few minutes. It doesn’t usually bother me that we’ve never actually been together but there are times when it hurts. I want to be able to give her the Christmas gift I bought her in person and then hopefully see her smile when she opens it. I want to hangout with her like I see so many other close friends doing.

I’ve discovered that I never really had a crush on her, specifically. I knew that she was, and is, the only other queer kid around me. Her also being ace helped. I knew that if we got together (officially) neither of us would have to worry about that stuff. However, because of the closeness of our relationship, I mixed up the emotions. She’s still figuring stuff out, just like I am, and I think I may of pushed something on her that neither of us fully understood. That doesn’t mean I don’t like girls, far from it, it just means I’m learning to understand this stuff. I wish someone could teach you what all of it is supposed to feel like, because let me tell you, it’s confusing. Nevertheless, I figured it out. I also figured some other stuff out but that’s for another entry.

The bottom line is that I want to see her; she’s my closest friend. She makes me happy.