The Minefields of Separation and Divorce

Children and Their Rights

As I have said, the children should always be the focus of separated parents concerns. But there will be times when you will feel like walking away. Most fathers try to do the right thing, however, the fact that you could be battling for years for the rights of your children to spend quality time with you is tiring, frustrating and combined with work commitments...if you have met a new partner and if they have children of their own etc.

How many hours there are in a week that need to be allocated to these duties? Then what about you? If you do everything that will be expected there may be nothing left over, and eventually, you will start to resent...to burn out. And unless you are willing to take some time out, relax, hang out with friends or do nothing but watch the game, you run the risk of feeling like it is not worth the effort, especially if teenagers are involved.

Choices can be made that it has become too hard...that something has to give. I cannot advise you to do this or that...that is your call only. All I can say is that to walk away is a big decision, and needs to be thought out, rather than being a knee jerk reaction. Do not underestimate the importance of your role in their lives. They may say they hate you, they might act up, or your ex may say things to them that could make them judge you. But they still need to know that you love them and that you care.

Because if you walk, they will suffer, and you will suffer. It is so true that nothing worth having comes easily, and those children will not be children for long. Every day you don't have them is a day lost...a day that can never be replaced. But, the day they come to you...when their eyes are at the same level as your own, do you want to have to say how sorry you are for leaving them? Or do you want them to tell you how proud they are of your efforts?

Only when we have children of our own do we look back and appreciate what we put our parents through, and when those children have kids, and you become a grandparent, they will look back and thank you...hopefully. It will not be easy, but consider them and the fact that you brought them into this world, not to abandon them, but to love them unconditionally. The rewards will be far greater than the sacrifices you must make today.